Second Chances
by Phoenix Nephthys
Summary: You are the Daughter of the Cross and the Moon. Though your path will be hard you shall always stay strong. Remember that the choices made for you by those who love you are made out of love.
1. A Modest Proposal

**_Second Chances_**

A woman cried in pain. The contractions came closer and closer. Her face was streaked with sweat and tears, her hair was a mess of red on the bed.

"Just a little push, and the baby will be out madam." said the midwife.

It was a longer labor than what it was supposed to be, and she knew that. It was moments like this that she wished she was still a young girl on her small French village with no responsibility. But, like always, it had befallen on her to tell the husband the news. Only one of them would survive.

"_It will be God's choice." _she remembered him saying with tears on his eyes. And now he was outside the room waiting for the answer. The woman cried in pain again and with all her might pushed the baby out of her. A girl came out. A little girl with the same color hair as her mother.

"It's a girl." she told the dying woman. With what little strength she had left, the woman raised her head and the midwife brought her the baby.

"Elizabeth Amira. Tell my husband that will be her name… please tell him." it seemed so important to her, naming this little creature that couldn't care less what people called her, but still she nodded. Experience told her that a dying persons wishes should always be granted. She put the baby on a servants hands and went to try and help the woman, it was too late, her dying breath was her child's name.

With sorrow and regret she went outside. And there was the Father waiting for the news, his eyes became a sea of tears and he took the baby gently on his arms.

"What should I do with you?" he asked to the now sleeping baby. "What should I even call you?" the midwife remembered the Mother's wishes and boldly told him.

"Elizabeth Amira. Your wife wanted you to call her that." she said.

"Lady Elizabeth Amira Montague." he said smiling on his sorrow.

* * *

_11 years later_

"Lizzy!!!! Lizzy darling, where are you hiding?" called a man of about 53 years. He heard a soft giggling sound from behind the curtain and a smile graced his lips. "Now where could have my little princes gone off to?" more giggling noises were heard.

He swiftly made his way to where his daughter was hiding, behind the curtain, he opened it and caught her by the waist.

"I've got you now little Princess. Who would you call to rescue you now?" he said and started tickling his daughter.

"Papa no, do not do that Papa." said the fiery red haired and violet eyed girl

"Will you come willingly with me then?" she continued to move. Trying to escape, but it was no use, he was too big

"I Sir am a Lady. I do what I want when I want to." it was moments like this that this little woman remembered him so much of his dead wife.

She had the same fierce spirit, humble expectations and willingness to do what was right (as he saw when she stepped between a Christian man and a Muslim one to prevent the later to cause the other harm)

"Well little Lady, it's time for you to take your history lessons."

"Ah Papa, why? Monsieur Lecleark is very boring, why don't you teach me?"

"I have to go see the King in Jerusalem. And don't worry you'll join me in some days."

"But Papa, why can't I go with you now? Who will continue giving me sword lessons?" he remembered the day when she had told him to give her Fencing Classes. She had walked into his study while he was working on his research and told him that she believed that, as a Lady, she should learn to defend herself and that being the case, she should learn to use swords.

"The time will pass fast my Daughter. Do not worry yourself."

"Fine Papa, but you must promise to take me exploring once we are there."

"Very well. Now, History awaits."

* * *

The Kings Court, Jerusalem

"Right this way Lord Montague, His Majesty will arrive shortly." said a short and plump man servant. Lord Henry Montague made his way to the Library of the King, he didn't know why he had been asked to come in such a short time and it unnerved him. He heard a door open an there was the King of Jerusalem, in all his glory.

"Lord Montague, how long has it been?" the Lord bowed down to his King

"Almost five years, my Lord." the king made his way to the seating area of the office and bid Henry to sit next to him.

"My, my, that long? Pray tell how is your daughter?"

"She's fine. She's her mothers daughter."

"Yes, Nahim… She was a Muslim, was she not?"

"Yes she was."

He had never liked the way people asked that. Yes, she was a Muslim woman, married to a Christian man, but that didn't mean that he was a sinner. He also didn't like people asking about his daughter, his prized possession, what he loves more in the world, something he'll never depart of on his heart and who shall only have the best.

"I do not enjoy petty games Henry. She had leprosy did she not?" the Lord paled remembering the last months of his wife pregnancy, when the illness had shown itself.

"I do not see how this has anything to do with us, my King."

"Oh, but it does. I hear that you've been making studies of this illness. Tell me, what kind of achievements you've had on it's treatment?" the King seemed oddly interested on such a mundane thing that it gave him a bad feeling.

"I have not reached anything that can cure it, but I'm optimistic that I will in the future."

"I want to make a proposition to you. I'll give you anything you need to continue your research of this illness, with the promise that when you find anything that could cure it, you will give it to me. And in return of this favor we shall have an arrange marriage."

Henry thought it was to good to be truth, he could finally have everything he need to find a cure. But a marriage of whom with whom; he suddenly didn't like the Kings proposition at all, but he paid no heed to it. If he couldn't trust his King, then who could he trust?

"A marriage between whom?" he asked, still a bit concerned

"Why, a marriage between your daughter and my son of course." the only thought on Henry's mind was _his _daughter marry _prince _Baldwin, he could dance with joy.

His daughter would become the Queen of Jerusalem and best of all she wouldn't be to far from him to see her regularly. Suddenly his Father instincts were on alert, what would happen if he didn't find a cure? And another question, why was the King interested in a cure for leprosy? He pushed this last question out of his mind, why should that matter to him?

"But, what will happen if I don't find a cure?" he asked

"Then your daughter will still marry my son. Are we agreed?" Lord Montague for being so knowledgeable couldn't say no to such an offer, truthfully no one could.

"Very well. My daughter will arrive on two days, I say we let them meet, but we shall not tell them until the day for us to leave arrives."

"Very well." said the King, with a smile on his face. They shook hands and closed the deal, one that would bring ruin to the Montague family.

* * *

Author's Note:

I finished seeing Kingdom of Heaven, and thought that I didn't want Baldwin to die, specially so alone. So my muse came up with this story line. This are all actual historical characters but I plan to make the story in AU., keeping as many of the real events as I possibly can.

I hope you enjoy it, and I would like to hear what you think, maybe not now, but in the next chapters when something interesting actually happens.

I wish God's blessings upon you all on this season.

Phoenix Nephthys


	2. Elizabeth Amira Montague

_Chapter 2: Elizabeth Amira Montague_

* * *

Montague Palace

The young girl stood staring at the birds playing on the trees. She was all alone, the servants were all busy preparing dinner, one that she would have to eat alone… or did she? A mischievous smile graced her lips as she got up and ran to the kitchen. On the way, she was so absorbed congratulating herself on her idea that she didn't see Anouk, her Nana, coming out of the library and she collided with the older woman.

"Dear child be careful, and don't run, you know Ladies don't run."

"Sorry Nana." she said, putting and act of caring how a Lady should behave, and trying to hide her excitement.

"What is it Lizzy, why were you running? What are you up to now?" she had been taking care of this girl since she was born, and she prided herself on believing that she knew her extremely well.

"Well Nana, you know how Papa left and I'm all alone." she said taking what Anouk had come to call the "Lady Tone". She remembered the girl's mother using it, when she was scheming to do something socially wrong.

"Yes of course, but you shall be leaving tomorrow to met him."

"That might be true, but I don't wish to eat alone tonight. So I have decided that we shall use the Grand Dinning Hall and the servants shall eat with me, all of them." she added when she saw her Nana was going to argue

"But who will tell them, besides it's such a short notice, who will prepare it?"

This is the same exact socially wrong behaviour she had been thinking about, even when she had to admit it was exactly why the servants liked the girl so much… Elizabeth clearly had not planned this much, as she could tell when the girl stopped jumping in excitement, but she was going to give her an answer. And Emilia was sure she wasn't going to like it.

"Why us of course. In fact I will call Shaimir so she will help us, I'm sure she won't mind."

"But Elizabeth."

"That is what I'll do Nana, I don't care if it doesn't go with your social rules." and that was the final word.

They spend two hours arranging the dinning hall and making it usable. After everyone had been told of the girl's idea, they were all very nervous. Elizabeth seemed the picture of calmness, if they hadn't already known her age, they would have thought she was a woman, not a child. But what surprised them the most was that she was inviting both Muslim and Christian servants to her table.

Her House had always prided them selves on having good relationships with Muslims (a fact that had been proven when Lord Henry had married Nahim, a Muslim woman) but they had never dinned with the servants, it was simply socially wrong.

When time for dinner came everyone was waiting on the doors for Lady Elizabeth to come and sit. She came down and quickly greeted everyone like she would a Duke or another Lord. Once they had entered the dinning hall she surprised them again.

"Who is the oldest Muslim here?" she asked everyone and no one in particular

"That would be Mohamed, Lady Elizabeth." answered a Christian woman, pointing to an old man with a cane.

"Ala bless you, my Lady. What do you want from an old man like me?"

"You'll be my right hand tonight." she said as she pointed to a chair on her right, everyone was extremely surprised, the right side was always reserved for the most trusted people and it made all the Muslims present feel gratitude, admiration and love for this girl, who remembered them so much of her mother.

Even when it didn't made the Christians feel to happy, they knew she did it because she was also part Muslim and was honouring her dead Mother. At least most of them didn't give it a second thought.

"Ala bless you my dear child, for showing such kindness to an old man." he said as he bowed before her and she did the same, as sign of respect.

"And Louis I know that you are the oldest Christian here. Would you be so kind as to sit on my left?"

"Of course my Lady." he was also her religion teacher, and a man she loved like her own father.

Once everyone was seated (a mix between Muslim and Christian, not one group here and another there) and food was on everyone's plate, Elizabeth once again raised her voice among the chatter of different conversations. Thus showing that she was being educated to be more than a good wife, she was being prepare to be the Lady and ruler of the Montague properties in her own right. Everyone new her Mother would be extremely proud of her daughter, having been educated like a son also even when it was for different reasons.

"I know that this is not the common diner, but I ask for you to grant me one more wish before we eat. I want Monsieur Louis and Monsieur Mohamed to lead us in prayers, both Muslim and Christian." everyone was silent

"Are you sure Lady Elizabeth?" asked her Nana

"Yes Nana, I'm sure of it. Will you please start Monsieur Louis, after you are done Monsieur Mohamed will say his."

After prayers where done everyone ate. A Muslim man stood up and said that in the name of every Muslim present he wanted to wish her a happy life, and that he hopped her heart would always carry such kindness towards others... Everyone was enjoying themselves, this hall was usually preserve for only the best of guest and it made everyone admire Lady Elizabeth at having done this for mere servants. But she was still a child and they found her asleep on a sofa close to the doors.

"Ala bless you, our dear Lady." said Mohamed

"May God guard your dreams." added Louis, and both of them, accompanied by her Nana, took the Lady to her chambers.

The next day was spent travelling since early morning. They only stopped to eat and at night to make camp. They slept the night and continued at dawn. Once they where reaching Jerusalem it was too much excitement for Elizabeth to take and she rode her horse at full gallop to the City's Gates and into the Palace with her escort yelling at her from behind. Because her face was covered everyone thought she was a boy, for surely a woman couldn't ride that well. She reached the Palace gates and a guard stopped her.

"In the name of God declare yourself and your business at the Kingdom of Heaven."

The Kingdom of Heaven, so that's how you call the Holy Land, she thought. She looked at the guard he had bright blue eyes and blond hair to his shoulders, he couldn't be more than 3 years her senior.

"My name is Lady Elizabeth Amira Montague, daughter of Lord Henry Montague. I'm here to meet my father, who was called by the King."

_This is a girl?_ The guard was surprised by her. She could be no more than four feet tall and he had seen her ride at full gallop across the city and then stop her horse with the ability of a man. But what really confused him was that she was dressed as a Muslim not a Christian.

"Of course Lady Elizabeth, forgive me for delaying you." he said as he bowed, after all who was he to deny passage to a Lady?

"Do not worry yourself, you were just doing your job. God bless you." she said as she entered, when a shout was heard.

"LADY ELIZABETH, STOP."

"Oh great, my guard is here." She said smiling conspirationally.

"If I may be so bold, shouldn't you have stayed with them. They could loose their position if something were to happen to you, my Lady."

"No they won't," said the young girl while smiling. "I'll make sure they won't, after all it was I who made the horse go faster. It's not their fault I know how to ride as a man, that lies on my Father."

"Lady Elizabeth, why did you do that? You could have fallen of your horse," the man was panting. The girl offered him her canteen and when he didn't take it she rolled her eyes and put it on his hands with a firm command.

"Drink it William, you need it. After all you where the one that gave me his after I had finished mine yesterday." the man took the water and drank it, while regaining his breath. The guard looked from the little girl seated on the horse like she owned everything her eyes looked upon, that picture just didn't go with her giving the servant _her_ canteen.

"Thank you my Lady."

"It was nothing William."

"You may go in Lady Elizabeth," repeated the guard

"Thank you. May I please know your name?" she said to him

"Baldwin, my name is Baldwin."

"Thank you Baldwin." She said as she moved away into the palace. And he slid away before anyone who could recognize him, saw him.

Once she was sure the horses would get the proper attention she asked a servant where her father was. The woman took her to the library where she saw her father talking with another man.

"Papá, finally. I've missed you so." she said and went running to were her father was standing and hugged him.

"Elizabeth, what is this? Did you run away from the caravan again?" he said giving her daughter a mock stern look.

"Yes, but don't worry William was right behind me." she answered him

"Very well. I had hopped to present a young Lady to William of Tyre, but I'm afraid that should he ever see you again, he won't recognize you." the girls eyes were glowing at the mention of one of the most knowledgeable man in the land.

"Wait a moment father." and she took off the hijab. Revealing her long dark red hair.

"Now this is more like my daughter. Monsieur William of Tyre, this is my daughter Lady Elizabeth Amira Montague."

"A pleasure to meet you." he said bowing to whom he knew would be his future Queen

"Pleasure is all mine. I feel honoured to finally meet you."

"My daughter loves to read your books William, she reads both Plato and Christian books"

"Really??" he said interested "And, pray tell, how old are you My Lady?"

"I'll be 12 in two months."

"What a bright young Lady. Would you do me the honour of taking class with Prince Baldwin, Princess Sybilla and I while you are here?"

"I would be delighted." then she looked at her Father, "Would you let me Papá?"

"Of course Lizzy. Now go clean yourself, we shall be eating with the King tonight."

"Very well Papá. It was a pleasure meeting you Monsieur William."

"Pleasure's all mine, Lady Elizabeth." he said and bowed down again

Once she was gone for some time they resumed their previous conversation.

"Are you completely sure of what you are telling me William?" asked Henry, worry noticeable on his tone.

"Yes, Prince Baldwin has leprosy."

"So that's why the King wants me to search for a cure. It'll be payment both ways. If I find a cure my daughter will marry the King of Jerusalem and a healthy man. If I don't my daughter will marry the Leper King of Jerusalem."

"I'm sorry my friend."

"Not to worry I'll find a cure."

They stood there on uncomfortable silence, until they decided it was better to go and get ready for dinner.

* * *

_**Elizabeth P.O.V**_

I had been wondering the palace the moment I left my Papá. This is such a big place, it's even bigger than my home. It's sad that I haven't seen anyone my age to play with yet, but I hear Prince Baldwin has 2 sisters.

I start walking faster when I hear the sounds of boys shouting, they are coming from big doors at the end of the hall. I shouldn't go there, who knows what kind of crazy things those boys are doing there… after all they _are _boys...

They are Fencing!! I absolutely love fencing, it's almost better than horse ridding, almost. As I entered and stood quietly on a corner I saw the guard that let me in was fighting, he is really good but it is obvious that his opponent is refraining from attacking him.

"Fight him with your full strength Guy de Lousignan, when they find him in battle the Prince will not be treated with any thought to his well being."

Prince? Oh so that must mean that the Guard is really the Prince... I should probably be shocked to find out about that, but I have seen my Papá do the same when there is trouble in the land.

"They are good aren't they?" said a voice next to me

"Yes they are. But if you notice the way the Prince is holding his sword you'll see he's tired. And the other one is letting his left side unprotected."

I said pointing to Baldwin and the other man who seemed at least 7 years his senior. Suddenly I remember that not every man believes in the expression of women, like my Papá, and I fear that he'll take me to see the Priest, for surely my speaking of something like fencing is the Devil's work.

"That is a very accurate perception; may I know your name?" I turned around and saw the very man who was giving the instruction next to me.

"I'm Lady Elizabeth Amira Montague." I said as I curtseyed.

"Oh, you're Henry's daughter. Well, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I'm Tyberias." and then he bowed down, lower than necessary just like Monsieur Tyre.

"Pleasure is mine Monsieur Tiberias, my Papá has often spoken of you."

"Like wise. Now tell me, how is it that you seem to know of Fencing?"

"My Papá is teaching me. I asked him to, a year past."

"Really?" why did every one always seemed surprised "Pray tell child, how old are you?"

"I'll be 12 in two months."

"You seem like an incredible smart Lady for being so young."

"Papá is teaching me like he would a son, because he says that one day I'll be the ruler of the Montague properties and he doesn't want a man to rule me." I don't really understand what he means with that last part, but I'll guess he'll explain it to me someday. Tyberias is looking at me thoughtfully and I feel smaller than what I am under his gaze. He suddenly claps his hands and the fighting stops.

"Future Crusaders, my Prince. I consider it a pleasure to introduce you Lady Elizabeth Amira Montague." everyone looked at themselves and then at Baldwin and me, they seem to share a private joke. "She's the daughter of Lord Henry Montague and they'll be staying here at the Palace as the Royal Family's guest for some time." they all bowed down (to low once again) and I did what was socially right and curtsied.

"Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven my Lady." said the man I later learned is named Guy de Loussignan, as he bowed down and kissed my hand.

"Why, pray tell, do you call it the Kingdom of Heaven, and not just simply the Kingdom of Jerusalem?" he seemed baffled that I had spoken, my Father is not raising me to be a quiet woman.

"T -t-that would be bec-c-cause it is here that Jesus our Lord was buried and thus r--resurrected." said Prince Baldwin, for a moment he looked me in the eyes and then looked away.

"This is also where the prophet Mahomet ascended the heavens for the Muslims and for the Jews…" I added

"That is blasphemy. We know that is not true." said a boy older than me

"How can you be sure Monsieur…" we where heading to a political discussion, Tiberias sensing this stopped us

"Now it is not time to argue about politics, you are both too young to speak of such things." said Tiberias and I felt like the foolish little girl that I am

"Of course." said a not to happy boy

"Pardon." I answered

"Very well, now, will any of you gentlemen escort Lady Montague to her Chambers?"

"I'll take her Tiberias, follow me Lady Montague." said Prince Baldwin, I followed him

"Adieu." I said to the nobles, as I curtsy and walked away

We walked silently for what seemed like hours. This place is so big, I am going to get lost much on it. We come to a cylindrical shape corridor with no windows, the only light came from crystal on the ceiling. I wonder if an echo can be heard here? Only one way to find out.

"Echo." and suddenly my voice filled the corridor. Baldwin looked at me and I instinctively answered "Sorry." and once again my voice filled the corridor. He smiled and continued walking, without saying anything. I was quiet as long as it was physically possible for me, until I couldn't help myself. I am going to say a proper hello and thank him for his hospitality.

"Why where you at the gates when I came?" that was definitely not what was on my mind. He stopped abruptly and turned around. God in heaven please help me, I do not want to make the future King angry. But apparently I shouldn't have worried since he gave me a small smile.

"I believed that you did not recognize me."

"I remember faces, always. Maybe not names, but always faces."

"Then let me introduce myself properly. I'm Prince Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, at your service my Lady." he said kissing my hand. I smiled at him, and after he'd let my hand go I bowed.

"A pleasure to meet you Prince Baldwin, I am Lady Elizabeth Amira Montague." I said as I bowed down

"How long will be you be here, Lady Elizabeth?"

"Just call me Elizabeth, please. And I do not know, it'll be up to our Fathers the time of my stay."

"Then I hope that what ever brings you here prolongs itself. I would surely like to see you speak often like that to Lord Chatinllon."

"I hope not, I do not wish to fall in anyone's bad graces so soon after my arrival." I said as we turned a corridor and up to a door

"This is your room. See you at dinner Mademoiselle Elizabeth."

"Adieu." I said as I closed the door.

Dinner was a quiet affair. No one spoke, about the problems facing the upcoming war between the Crusaders and the Muslims. Fortunately I was introduced to Princess Sybilla, who had just returned from the monastery where she lived with her Aunt, she seemed nice, and we fell into an easy conversation. I learned that her half sister, Isabella, would not be accompanying us, for she lived with her Mother at Nablus.

"So tell me Lady Elizabeth, which would you say is the best of the stories you've ever read?" asked me William of Tyre, I was startled for I was deep in conversation with Sybilla about her life in a monastery and did not expect anyone to speak to me.

"I would say Federigo's Falcon by Giovanni Boccaccio, is one of the pieces I love the most." this was answered by Godfrey of Ibelin, a man who had been introduced to me, before the dinner started

"May I ask, why it is the one you like the most?"

Every eye was now upon me, and I felt myself grow more nervous every time one of the people around the table finished what he/she was doing and looked at me. I looked at my Papá and I noticed he had a smile upon his face, this gave me the strength I needed and so I raised my chin and declared.

"It is very intriguing the way that man threw all of his fortune away in order to please the woman he thought he loved, and still he never managed to give to her what she desired. And still in the end she married him, because she understood that it was always in his heart to please her, even when he didn't succeed."

"Lady Elizabeth, why do you say that he thought he loved her? Why don't you believe he did?" asked Monsieur Tyberias

"I do not claim that he did not love her, it simply seems to me, that instead of throwing banquets to try and get her attention, he should have spent time knowing her. After all, the Author tells us that little did she care for this demonstrations of grandeour. So, why didn't he try to gain her favor doing other things?"

"My, my you were right Henry. Your Daughter is very well thought. My Lady, I am truly pleased to see such a cultivated mind in one so young." replied Monsieur Tyre.

"Thank you Monsieur, you flatter me." I said, excited at being praised by _the_ William of Tyre.

After that dinner was a quiet affair and I continued talking to Sybilla, she seemed very shy, but I hope soon we'll be able to be great friends... Days passed and my life became what it used to. I took classes with the Prince and Princess, and slowly we became able to speak to one another, without the need of Monsieur Tyre. Every day was the same: wake up and break fast, take the class assigned to that day and then meet with my Papá for fencing lessons or a ride on horse.

"Papá, you haven't kept your promise." I said, while we strolled around the gardens. I'm sad that as magnificent as it is, it's still missing roses.

"What promise is that my child?" he said looking distant. He has been acting rather strange ever since he came here. I would like to ask, but it is my duty as a daughter to obey my Father.

"You promised to take me to se the city of Jerusalem, just you and me. And I wish to see it, can we please go?" he looked down at me and giving me a fierce hug answered

"Of course my Princess, anything for you."

We went to where the horses were resting, and after having them ready we went outside the gates of the palace and into the city…. It is so big!! I have never seen a place as big as this. I love it, everything is so pretty and there are so many people. On the distance I hear my Papá telling me the History of the different places, but it's all lost to me…. Everyone here is doing something, some are buying or selling, others are just looking around. I can see my Papá staring at something, and when I look closer I see it is a tent, and that there is a woman sitting there looking at us. Something about her calls to me, and I direct my horse towards her, my Ppapá sights and follows me, as if he was expecting this to happen.

"Monsieur Montague, it's been a long time, since I have seen you. Pray tell who is this child." she said, bowing to us, once we had dismounted and walked closer to her

"Amira." my father said, bowing to the woman. " This is my daughter Elizabeth Amira Montague." she quickly looked me over and for a moment I thought I saw her eyes water.

"Ah yes. I can see your Mother in you child." she said as she looked me from head to toe. "Come closer to me, I'm afraid the years have taken their toll on my eyes." she said, but before I could walk closer to her, my Papá interrupted

"Why don't we continue this inside?"

"Always the careful one Henry. Very well come in to my humble abode."

When she said humble she was lying. In the floor there was a beautiful rug and every object in the tent seemed to be made of either silver or gold. And there were candles burning on every corner, giving the room the smell of roses. It was not too big, but it was well furnished, with a place for the fire and cushions to sit upon. I could also see a curtain, which I knew divided the sleeping quarters from the rest of the place.

"What is this?" I asked, when I found a strange piece of cloth with little pieces of gold attached to it, it sounded when you moved it. It looked like what some women, who I had seen dancing once, wore on their hips.

"That my dear child, is the way a Muslim woman expresses herself. Now come here, I desire to have a closer look at you." I walked to her, not even asking for my Papá's permission, she noticed this and said. "This one has a mind of her own, a very strange gift, no doubt inherited from both her parents."

When I was close she grabbed my hands and turned them over, sometimes passing her hands over mine, others saying things that I didn't hear or understand, under her breath. My Papá was sitting on a cushion and was lost in his own world. So I turned back again to look at the old woman. She had black hair, as black as a night without a moon or stars. Her skin was dark colored, but not enough that it could be called black. As I got to her face I noticed the beautiful make up she wore, the one I wish I was old enough to wear, and then I noticed her eyes, they are the same color as mine.

She looks me in the eyes, and I feel as if my deepest thoughts are being read and I don't like it. But instead of breaking eye contact with her I imagine a wall between us, and I see her smile, a sad smile.

"Your Mother was very talented at keeping me out of her mind to. I'm glad to see that her Daughter also has a strong mind. You've done a good job so far Henry."

"You knew my Mother?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Yes, I knew Nahim very well. You look just like her, same hair, same eyes. Even your look of wonderment looked like hers."

"How did you know her?" I ask once again, from the corner of my eyes I see my Papá hung his head

"She was my younger sister." _So this means that I have an Aunt? I've always wanted an Aunt, the other kids Aunts always spoil them._ Before I can think it twice, I threw my hands around her neck. "I see you've also inherited the desire to give yourself to people." She said, while she also hugged me.

"Amira, don't overwhelm my Daughter. She's still so young." said my Papá, massaging his head

"I know Henry but, alas, I'm afraid we should never meet again my little one." I look up at her. _How can we never meet again, have I done something to upset her?_ As if sensing my question she looked at me.

"No my dear Elizabeth, you have not committed any fault. But I'm afraid that the wish I asked of Ala has already been granted, and I am at peace now. I have seen my niece, the Daughter of my most beloved Sister, and I dare ask no more."

"But, why can't you come with us?" I asked her

"No my Dear, our worlds are far to different for me to go with you. But I shall give you something, so you'll remember me always."

She let go of my hands and walked to a chest, as she opened it I could see many different jewels, but I don't want any of them, I want an Aunt. Still she puts her hand inside and gets out a chain with a start pendant attached to it. When she is close to me, she puts it around my neck. While she says

"This belonged to your Mother, she gave it to me so that I would always remember her. This is the symbol of our family, everyone in it has one. It is passed from Mother to daughter and form Father to son. When one has more than one child more and made, and when one dies childless it is burned, the same day one is buried.

You will always be able to tell who is a member of your family when you see this star hung around their neck. And now I give it to its rightful owner. Never take it off, and may the light of the Blue Star guide your future." she said, as she did so she also gave me a slip of paper, but warned me.

"Do not read that until the moment is right. Don't worry you'll know." she said, answering my unasked question. I looked at her and I noticed that she too wore a chain with a star pendant around her neck.

"How would I know that you'll remember me?" I asked her. She touched the star that now hung around my neck at the same time she touched hers, and looked deep into my eyes once again

"You are blood of my blood. You have the same gift as every woman in our family has had, a blessing from Ala." as I gave her a puzzling look, she continued. "You may never fully grow into it, but the Blue Star will always help you in your choices. Trust your instincts, they are the path to the salvation of the Kingdom of Heaven." I looked at her and then when to a table on her back, she followed me with her eyes as I grabbed a knife and cut a strand of my hair.

"So you'll always remember me." I said giving it to her, after I had tied it with a bow.

"We better leave, we do not want the King wondering about us."

"Before you go, there is something you must know little one." and suddenly she seemed more serious and old than she had when I had first saw her, as she said with a voice full of knowledge.

"_You are the Daughter of the Cross and the Moon. Though your path will be hard you shall always stay strong. Remember that the choices made for you by those who love you are made out of love. And you shall rejoice in it, for you'll be eternally love by a wounded man an you shall restore hope in his heart and love him trough it all." _I looked at her puzzled, what did she just say? It sounded more like a riddle. I saw my Father exit the tent, but before I followed him, I asked once again.

"Would we truly never see each other again?" she looked at me with sad eyes and while caressing my hair answered

"I'm afraid not my dear child. But do not worry, you'll always be in my heart."

"Could we at least write to one another?" I asked, I have an Aunt, and I want to know her.

"Nahim, Nahim!! Your daughter is the same as you." she said looking to the ceiling. "Very well, we shall write to one another."

"I'll be staying at the Palace, and then I'll go back home. You can send the letters there." I said as I once again threw my hands around her. She took my hands once again and guided me to where the horse's laid. Before I leaved she kissed both my hands, and said.

"My dear child, may Ala bless you with a long life, for I am sure that it would be a happy one, even when you will suffer."

My Papá and I made our way back to the palace in silence, I was clutching the paper she gave me very tightly, and once in my chambers I carefully stored it away. My Aunt and I continued to communicate with letters for 3 years (until her death), and every month she send me a present, a momento of my family she said. All of this I stored in the same box as the paper. Still what she said came true, we never saw each other again.

* * *

AN:

I ant to thank those of you who reviewed the last chapter.

So you've met the two main characters in the story. It will be told from Elizabeth's point of view, since she is the mayor character. I'm sorry if i made her sound to mature for her age, what i wanted for you to know was that she treats Muslims and Christian alike, speccially since she is the daughter of a Muslim woman and a Christian man.

Reviews are always appreciated.

Anyways, I wish all a Happpy New Year!!

Phoenix Nephthys

PD: I don't own many of the characters (only Elizabeth and her family), they are all based on real historical people and presented in the movie Kingdom of Heaven. So keep the layers at bay.


	3. Arrange Marriages

_Chapter 3: Arrange Marriages_

My Father and I stayed at the palace for 2 more weeks. I like it here very much; everyone is always nice to me, even when I've heard some nobles say that I'm not dignified to be here, because my Mother was a Muslim… I am now friends with both the Prince and Princess; still Baldwin (for he told me to call him by his given name) is always shy and distant, and when we play together he always stays away, as if afraid of something.

Sybilla, in contrast, always wants to play something different and can often be found in one of the gardens. I learned that she is to be married very soon (even when she is only 3 years older than me) and that's why she is at the palace and not at the Monastery with her Aunt, she doesn't seem to worry much about it.

"Are you not worried Sybilla? You are to be married to a man you hardly know."

"No, after all I'll finally be away from that Convent. I hated it there, all they did was pray, and never did they let us outside or do anything. Besides here I have you to talk to and my brother also." that was the last time we talked about the subject before her first marriage

One day I was in the Library when Baldwin came, he didn't see me so I just kept myself still and watched him. He is always very quiet, I know this is because he stutters, and as Prince he doesn't want people to see him as weak. I wonder if it's hard for him to know that someone is always watching his steps, thus he must always look invincible. Still I believe that he is a little afraid of something, I don't know what, but his eyes sometime seem as if lost in deep thought….

"Will you talk to me? Or are you mute today Lady Elizabeth?" he said, back turned to me.

"I'm sorry my Lord, I did not think you would notice my presence. And please, call me Elizabeth." I told him.

"Elizabeth, believe me when I say you truly are hard to miss." he said, and the smile that I sensed in his voice told me that this was a compliment.

"You flatter me Baldwin." and without thinking I added. "Would you sit with me?" this made him turn around and his blue gaze fall upon me.

"Why do you ask that, Lady Elizabeth?" when he said my title this time it was as if he was trying to make me confess a crime, trying to make me see I had done something wrong.

"I got a new book _Prince_ Baldwin." I emphasized the word Prince so he would realize his own tone. "And I was wondering if you would help me read it, there are a couple of words I cannot enunciate. But if you would rather not, I understand." I said, and bended my head down to continue reading. After a moment of silence he answered.

"What are you reading?" I moved my eyes from the book to him. He was still standing far away from me.

"Beowulf. It is the first time I've read it, and because I'm not so good in English, I'm having a little trouble with some words." he stood there, still unmoving. He seemed to be meditating to seek the best course of action, and then decided it couldn't hurt and went to my side.

"You are in luck today, Beowulf happens to be one of my favourite stories. Now lets see how I can be of help."

We spend the remainder of the evening reading that book, I fell in love with it; but still I think it was missing the romance between the hero and the lovely Lady. After we had finished it I said this to Baldwin, he started to laugh and said that only a woman would want a warrior to fall in love and stay at home, and that it was ridiculous to ask that of a man. Now, I usually never speak back to my superiors but I just had to ask….

"Why, pray tell, do you think that?" I told him, as I closed the book and stared at him, with the most serious eyes I could muster. This seemed to unfaze him, and he started to stutter, trying to find the correct answer. After a moment he composed himself but continued, still in a trembling voice.

"A man must go out and pro-tec-t his dom-mi-nions. And a warrior must only worry himself with war."

"But isn't that a lonely life?" I asked him, his blue eyes turned once again to me, only this time they were not showing the laughter we shared a while ago, but incredible sadness. Before he could say something I continued. "If a warrior only worries himself with war, would his life be worth anything? He would probably turn into a cold-hearted person. One who desires war, not because it is the last resource, but because he enjoys the killing of others."

"But, would it not be worth it?" he started, not stuttering now. And not looking at me, he seemed to be trying to convince himself of something. "For a man to loose himself, in order to create a strong empire. One, that no one thought him capable of maintaining?" After thinking about this for a moment I answered.

"Some people may believe that this would be the best course. But I think that this is wrong, after all who wants to live alone?"

"No one." he said, staring at the air between us. "But sometimes we are destined to be alone." his voice held such sadness, and his eyes had turned a darker blue.

I wondered why he was so sad, he sometimes looks that way, but he has never ever told us why. I don't think it is something silly, after all he is a prince; why would he worry about silly things? Before I can ask what is bothering him, he turns away and tells me we should be getting ready for dinner, after all tonight there is going to be a banquet and this would be my last night here… He stood up and left me alone.

After putting the incident at the back of my mind, and the book on its rightful place, I walked to my chambers. It didn't take long for the maids to help me take a bath and get dressed and, like since the day it had been given to me, with the Blue Star pendant around my neck. Since tonight was to be my last night here I was to wear the finest gown I possessed and also, according to the maids, king Almeric is to make an announcement at the dinner. A very important one, which would be decisive to the fate of the Kingdom.

When I was ready I went to sit at the balcony, my Papá was coming to pick me up. It was a clear night, I could see the moon shinning very brightly and everything looked beautiful. I heard a knock on my door and a moment later my Papá was standing besides me.

"This is a beautiful scenery, my Princess."

"I know, doesn't the moon look beautiful. I love the way it makes everything brighter."

"Elizabeth?" he said, and I heard a slight tremor on his voice

"Yes Papá?"

"You know that I would do anything for you, right? And that even if you asked for the moon, I would go and get it for you. You know that I love you and that I would rather die than see you suffer?" I felt as if he was trying to let me know something important, I had felt him tense all this week, but when ever I asked him what was amiss he would simply say that he missed home.

"I know Papá." I answered, hopping that there was nothing wrong with him.

"No matter what happens tonight always remember that I love you. And that even I sometimes make mistakes."

"What is it Papá? Why are you telling me this?" he didn't answer right away, instead he took his time admiring the sky.

"You will find out soon, now let us go down to dinner."

And find out I did. It was a normal dinner, if one did not take into consideration that all the nobles were present, that the King was using the big dinning room and that there was dancing. Being still young I wasn't asked by anyone for a dance. But I could see that Sybilla was enjoying this very much, every time I looked she was dancing with William Longsword of Montferrat, her future husband. I simply stood by the sidelines and watched the people dance. I went to get refreshment and I heard some of the other nobles' daughter's looking at Baldwin's direction.

"He is such a charming man. I wished I would be his bride." said one of them.

I stopped pouring the drink in my cup. She wanted to marry Baldwin? Why, she is just as old as me; and my Papá says that a girl shouldn't be married until she's at least 16, something about having a baby being easier that way. They were all huddle together at the corner of the table. They are all very pretty; all of them have either blond hair and green eyes or black hair and big round blue eyes. Very different from my red hair and almond shaped violet eyes.

"I know, his eyes are such a beautiful blue just like the deepest sea and his blond hair shines like the sun."

I almost chocked with sip of the drink I had just taken. What is all that flattery about? And, do women really think him attractive? I mean, I know his eyes are blue and his hair blond, but need they say it in such a way?

God, He can't even hear them. I feel myself grow red with embarrassment when a young noble came and asked me if I was alright. Shortly after he had gone, I heard a teasing voice behind me.

"Pray tell. What was so funny, Lady Elizabeth?" when I turned I saw Baldwin standing right next to me. The girls, who were previously speaking about him, were now deadly quiet and giving me hard glares.

"Do you really want to know my Lord?"

I asked Baldwin, watching the young Ladies turn scarlet and walk away from us. Except for one of them, Isabella Montferrat, Sybilla's future husband's sister. She was looking at me, as if I was a bug she very much wanted exterminated. I do not care; after all coming to the Court of Jerusalem is not something I will be doing regularly so I will not see her often.

"Of course I do. Would I have asked you if I didn't?" very well, you asked for it Baldwin, I thought as a sweet smile graced my lips.

"You see. Some girls were just speaking of your physical charm. And I just thought it funny the way they compare you to nature." more than enjoying the look of complete shock on Isabella's face, was watching Baldwin turn a deep red colour I had only seen in tapestries.

"You do not know what you are talking about." he said, trying to regain his composure.

"Oh yes I do. I believe they said something like "his blond hair shinning like the sun" or some other rubbish." Apparently being embarrassed enough, the young Lady walked away, but not before giving me a look that could have killed me.

"And you consider that funny?"

"No, but I consider teasing you funny. Did you know that the colour on your face matched the colour of the red roses back home?" I said this and he turned an even redder. "Don't worry my Lord. I will refrain from doing it on public."

"I thank you, Lady Elizabeth." he said smiling, just then a new melody started playing.

I watched as once more Sybilla was dancing in William's Longsword arms. The King was dancing with his late wife, Baldwin and Sybilla's mother, Agnes. To me she seemed like a nice Lady, she treated me nice and was always polite, but sometimes I could not stand but feel worried and anxious in her presence. My Papá was standing on a corner talking agitatedly with Monsieur Miles of Plancey, a court man and an advisor to the King. Baldwin was standing right next to me, drinking and speaking with Raynald of Chatillon, but they stopped when the newly instated Knight saw Stephanie of Milly and went to ask her for the dance. That just left Baldwin and I.

"So tell me, Elizabeth. Why are you not dancing?"

"That's a fairly easy answer Baldwin. No one has asked me to. And besides I'm afraid dancing isn't one of the things I am best at."

"Really? I thought that a woman who knows how to ride a horse and use a sword would know everything there is about such a female activity as dancing." he said, but his tone had more mirth than anything else on it.

"It is not that I don't know, I simply have never been good at it."

"Then let me teach you." it had come out before he had thought it through, of that I am sure. He immediately turned a deep scarlet colour and I could not look at him in the eye. "That is of course, if you would allow me the pleasure."

"I'll be honoured to dance with you." I said, he took my hand in his gloved one and lead me to the dance floor. From the corner of my eyes I saw my Papá trying to walk to us but Monsieur William put a hand to his chest and didn't allow him to move.

Dancing, as I said before, is not one of my strong points. I would like to say that it is because all the teachers I've had so far are very boring, but I'll be lying. The truth is that while I have mastered fencing, I always trip when dancing. Never have I been able to do more than move two paces, when I had already stepped on my partner's feet. And I must say that this time was not an exception.

"I'm so sorry Baldwin." I said, as I stepped on his feet the fourth time. "Let's just stop this, alright. I don't want to be excomulgated for rendering the future King unable to walk." he laughed at my comment, making me blush a deep scarlet.

"Well, I see you are also able to turn red my dear Lady."

"Please, this is embarrassing for me, could we please just stop?" I said, in what I hoped was a good Lady tone of voice.

"I have an idea to make this less uncomfortable for you."

"Tell me, and let's get this over with."

"It is fairly easy. You'll stand on my feet and I'll move both of us."

"That wouldn't be proper." I said, he looked at me for a moment and then said.

"Elizabeth, I have seen you ride a horse like a man, even better than some; I have seen you fencing and you are very good at it, and I have heard you speak at a table full of men, your mind. You, for being so young, master all this with great efficiency, I think it will be fine for you to take this lapse in propriety and accept my proposition."

I was about to answer him when all the music stopped. We turned to see what had happened. And there was King Almeric, standing with my Papá, Agnes and Sybilla's future brother in law, Conrad of Montferat…. I was surprised to see my Papá standing there, looking as if he was about to sign his death sentence; the King, on the other hand, was looking rather pleased with himself.

"My Nobles, Ladies and most faithful Knights. I thank you all for coming tonight. As you all know this has been a great year for us. We have conquered the heathens on many wars, and the people of the land have, once again, started their path to conversion from the faith imposed to them by the barbarians."

There was a loud cheer across the room. I looked, and all around me the people who had spoken behind my back against me, and those who had treated me kindly, were cheering at the small speech their King had made. Instinctively I looked at Baldwin, he was not openly celebrating the death of my Mother's people, but I could sense that he to, took pleasure in knowing that the Muslim had been defeated. As for me, I felt extremely confused. But I could not ponder on my feelings much longer for the King started talking once more.

"Yes, God is blessing us, for he knows that what we do is the correct thing. Nevertheless, now we must speak of more worldly maters. As you all know my daughter Sybilla is going to be married in two months to William Longsword of Montferrat…" at this they appeared by his side, hand in hand, and there was cheering heard again.

"Yes, we all wish you a happy marriage and many children. However I have another announcement, after talking to my advisors and corresponding with the Pope, it has come to my attention that I also have a son. A son who is the heir to my throne and who I wish would also father children." he said this and motioned for Baldwin to go to him; he did so, but was curiously looking at his Father, once he had reached the group the King continued. "That is why we have decided that my son and heir to the throne, Prince Baldwin IV and Lady Elizabeth Amira Montague, the only daughter of Lord Henry Montague, shall be married."

The world stopped spinning. I heard a couple of gasps around the room but didn't really pay any attention; instead my attention was focused on my Papá. I felt someone take my hand and lead me to where he was standing. He didn't look happy at the announcement, unlike the King who when he saw me close to him gave me a kiss on the cheek and welcomed me to the family. All of this I barely remember, for in that moment all I could think of was _'My Papá betrayed me.' _Where was the man that had promised me not to have me wed until I turned 16? Had the King offered him a good piece of land, more riches, another title perhaps? For him to, for the first time in my knowledge, break his word.

Agnes was hugging me now, how I got from the King to her I don't understand, but she was saying things like '_Joyous to have a new daughter.' 'The biggest wedding feast ever seen in the Land' _and countless other things which my mind didn't process.

The murmur had died down and I knew that I was the centre of attention. I had moved (or was it them the one's who where moving?) and was now facing Sybilla. I'm sure the look of shock of her face was only matched in mine; still she recovered quickly and bent down to say to me.

"It'll turn out all right in the end Elizabeth. Now smile to the snobby nobles or they'll be dire consequences."

It only took those words for me to remember my place. I am a Lord's daughter, if I want to say something it cannot be in front of all this people. I smiled, not a true smile, but a smile none the less. It was then that I noticed who was leading me around. It was Baldwin.

He stood there next to me, his face the mask of pure calmness. I truly despised him in that moment. I still would, had our eyes not met. It was then that I could sense what he was feeling. Fear in great amount came from him, as well as disbelief, sadness and animosity. Even when I still felt betrayed, I felt a little better at knowing that he was not happy about this development either.

King Almeric finished his speech and the nobles and other people of the court continued whatever they where doing. I knew they were trying to seem discrete when they looked in my direction. I didn't care about what they thought. All I wanted was to go to my chambers and stay there for the rest of my life. With little concern for his feelings, I shoved Baldwin's hand away from mine. He was startled at my action, and I could feel hurt coming from him, especially when I said very low, so that only he could hear me.

"Do not touch me again. I do not care that they will force me to be your wife, but I will tell you this, you will never lay a hand on me. Never."

I walked away to my room, leaving him standing there with evident shock and hurt shinning from his eyes. Had I stopped to think my words through I would have probably gone back and apologized. But I was acting like the 11 year old, who was just told that she was going to be married off without being asked first, just like her Father had promised.

My Father followed me up to my room, and barged in when I closed the door on his face. I didn't acknowledge him; instead I went to my balcony and looked at the stars, softly touching the one that hung around my neck and thinking of the Mother I never knew.

"Elizabeth, whatever you said to Prince Baldwin I want you to go back and ask for forgiveness." rage surged through me.

"No." was my simple answer, even when I wanted to throw a fit.

"Why ever not? What you said must have been truly humiliating for him to excuse himself so early. Do you not think the nobles took notice of this behaviour?"

"You are going to make me marry him." I said, tears running down my face

"Oh, do not act so surprised child." he answer in a tone devoid of all the love and affection my Father always used when speaking to me. "It is not uncommon for a girl to be proposed in marriage. You are old enough to become engaged. You should consider it an honour that you'll marry the future King."

"But you promised me you would ask me…" I didn't finish because he interrupted.

"Stop crying and dry those tears. You will marry Prince Baldwin and that is my final word, whether you like it or not, it is decided."

"I hate you. I don't want to marry him. I hate you for wanting to force me into doing this. I wish I had died along with Mother." I answered him, never lowering my eyes

"Then you shall hate me until you die, for this union will happen as planned." he said as he strode out of my room, and left me crying alone.

Next morning the maids came early and helped me get ready. I was not paying much attention to what I was doing; everything I did was out of habit not consciousness. I ate in silence, only answering Sybilla when I thought it necessary and never looking at Baldwin. When the time came to leave I simply mounted my horse and got ready to follow my Father home, when _he_ came and stopped my horse.

"Lady Elizabeth, I know that this union is not to your liking, and I understand that."

"Do you really?" I asked not looking at him.

"Yes I do, I know it is not going to be easy marrying…"

"Do you really think this is about you, my Lord?"

"Why else would it be?" he asked, looking at me with a challenge clearly written on his eyes. A challenge I would have answered with passion any other time, this time I only answered him in a monotone voice.

"Not everything in the world revolves around you. I don't like it when people break their promises, and it hurts me when someone who I thought incapable of doing it proves me wrong."

"Then I shall make you this promise. If when the time for our marriage comes you do not wish to go ahead with it, I will honour your decision and we won't be married. I promise you this on my honour as future King." he said, but I didn't pay much attention and instead I made my horse start moving.

The next months at home where the most sad. My Father and I were very formal and distant with one another; he even started leaving the castle for days at a time without telling me where he was going. It was 3 months after my first journey to Jerusalem that the news reached us. King Almeric was dead, and we where being invited to Prince Baldwin's Instalment Ceremony.

Even when I did not wish to go, my Father forced me to. I was still engaged to the future King so I had to be present at different occasions in Jerusalem, including for my future husband instalment ceremony. My Father promptly made the needed arrangements and the next day we were on our way to Jerusalem. A plan slowly forming itself in my mind to have the future King retreat the marriage proposal.

* * *

**AN:**

**Thak you all those who reveiwed the last chapter. I hope you liked this one to. To: M. Alice Sweep, Scottishgal12, Padawan Cassy, jesses's hot babe, and the anonymous reviewer. Thank you for telling me what you think of my story, it's true when they say that it motivates writting.**

**Updates are slow because I do it only when i have started writting the next chapter. So I at least know where the story is going on next.**

**Just so you know I already have it mapped out in my mind, all I have to do is writte it.**

_Phoenix Nephthys_


	4. Appereances are misleading

**Chapter four: Appearances are misleading**

On the way to Jerusalem I was nothing other than civil with my Father. Our relationship was strained enough, and I didn't want to add to his displeasure. Once we got to Jerusalem we parted ways. I was rushed to my chambers so that I could rest, and I don't know where he went.

The funeral of King Almeric was the day after we got there. I was dressed in a somber purple dress. As they were getting ready, my Nana and all the maids kept insisting that when the time came I would be the most beautiful woman in the land, none would match me. I looked myself in the mirror, trying to find this beauty that they all talked about. However, all I could see was a young girl, with extremely red hair, a very pale complexion and strange violet eyes.

The body of the King was taken to the church, where the Archbishop spoke of all his great deeds and how he was a man of God who obviously was in heaven, dinning with angels. I grew tired of listening after a while, and instead started thinking about ways to excuse myself from having to join Baldwin in any type of meeting. I had thought long and hard about things that I could do to displease him, but I have to think of what this might mean for my father, and even when I'm mad at him, I do not want to cause him any pain.

After he was buried we went back to the château to have lunch. Instead of going to the table with everyone else, I excused myself and went up to my chambers. My Father gave me a look and I know he's not fooled by me. But we both know that there is no need for a scene, and so he let me go. That day, as well as the following two I spent in my chambers. Sybilla came at the end of my second day and invited me to take a stroll.

"So, Elizabeth. Why have you been hiding from everyone?" She surprised me with the question, yet I should have suspected it. Sybilla is a very smart woman.

"Why do you think I've been hiding?" _She might be smart, but I'm stubborn._

"Please, Elizabeth. You're talking to the person that invented the idea of faking feeling sick."

"Very well, I've been hiding. Can you blame me?"

"Maybe if I understood why you're so against this marriage? You are going to marry the future King, which means you'll be the Queen. What is so wrong with that?"

"There is nothing wrong with that. That is every girls dream. But, my Father had promised me that he would not marry me until I was 16, and I just turned 12."

"So, you're mad that your Father broke the promise. And because you're mad at your Father, everyone else has to pay?" The way she said it made me feel very guilty. When I didn't answer she continued. "My brother is a very good person. He told me that he promise you not to go on with the marriage if that's what you want. And, believe me, he'll keep his promise. But I beg you; please don't take retaliation against him."

After she said that she kept walking and left me in the hallway alone. I walked in the direction of the library, thinking about what she said. In the end, I decided to be the judge of Baldwin's character and not let anyone tell me what to think about him. Instead of going into the library I headed to the garden.

Even in the middle of this dessert it's a beautiful patch of green with flowers everywhere. I walked to a bench and made myself comfortable. I was enjoying myself until I heard two voices walking my way. I recognized them almost immediately, it was Baldwin and Tiberias. I looked for a way out, but couldn't find one, so I just went and hid behind some bushes. Not the most hard to find places, but it was big enough to hide me.

"So Baldwin, have you managed to talk to Lady Montague?" I heard Tiberias ask.

"No, as you well know she's been hiding." _Apparently no one fell for that._

"Ah yes. I dare tell you that women are strange creatures, and Lady Montague although young is still very much a woman."

"I have told her that I won't touch her, why doesn't she believe me?"

"Ah, so that's what worries you."

"You know I had nothing to do with this marriage proposal Tiberias. I know it's impossible."

"You're still young my king. Only God knows what will happen in the future." I tried to move closer, I wanted to hear what Baldwin thinks is going to happen to him.

"You don't need to be God to know what will happen. But, as long as I make my kingdom a prosperous one, and my reign not marred with blood, I will die a happy man." They walked away from where I was hiding. Once I was sure that no one would discover me I walked out and sat on the bench.

_So, al he wants is to have a powerful empire. _Not something uncommon for a future King. _Maybe I should give him a chance, after all being a Queen does have its good side. _With that in mind I walked back to my chambers. When the time for supper came I walked to the table. Everyone was surprised to see me there, and I thought I saw Sybilla smile. When Baldwin came in he looked truly surprised to see me.

"I trust you're feeling better Lady Montague?" Asked Tyberias.

"Yes, I am."

"I hope your health will not keep you from joining us again." Said Baldwin.

"Do not worry my Lord, I assure you you'll see me at your table again," Sybilla looked at me and smiled.

The next time was saw each other was at his coronation ceremony. We all know it's just for show, he will not be considered the King for another couple of years. He's just going to be learning for now. After the coronation ceremony was over we went to pay allegiance to the new king. Normally I wouldn't have to go, but because I'm going to marry him I must be present. When it was our turn to present ourselves my Father was the one who did all the talking, but before we left I whispered.

"I trust you to keep your promises my King."

"I am a man of my word Lady Elizabeth, I will honor it."

We didn't see each other for three years. The only method of communication between us where few short impersonal letters; very different from the relationship I had with Sybilla who I mailed frequently, and because her husband's land was close to ours, saw often.

The relationship with my Father was good, but not as it had been in my childhood. During those years he kept disappearing frequently for extended periods of time. I was never allowed to go with him. Instead, I had to stay home and study, because my Father wanted me to be an educated future Queen. Unfortunately for me that included dancing, but with time and much practice, even that became easy.

On the eve of my 15 birthday I overhead my Papa making plans to travel the next day, after my birthday celebration. It was to be a short journey, barely a few hours long. I was used to him leaving, so that didn't matter much but what he said later did.

"I'm glad it's finished. I can't stand being away from my daughter so long. Especially now that she's becoming such a lovely Lady." _What is finished? _I thought, I didn't know my Father was building anything.

"Of course."

"You are dismissed Joseph, tell Ayelen to make enough food for the workers."

"Yes, sir."

When I heard Joseph coming closer I looked for some place to hide, if caught listening behind doors I would receive a very long speech from my Father on the proper behavior of a lady. The only place I could find was a curtain, because there was no where else in sight I went in there. Once Joseph walked past me and was sure he wouldn't be coming back I got out. Arranging my dress I knocked on the door to my Father's study, and walked in.

"Hello Papa." I told him brightly.

"Godd night Lizzie. How has your day been?"

"Uneventful as always Papa. Yours?" He looked torn between telling me something. In the end he procured a letter from his drawer.

"I received a letter from the King today." _Baldwin sent him a letter? Whatever for?_

"What does it say?"

"We have been summoned by the King. He wishes for us to spend some time in Jerusalem." This was the first time in three years that we had been summoned to Jerusalem. Sybilla often went there, then again she's the King's sister and second in line to the throne so it's not strange for her to do so. "Would you like to go?"

It really wasn't a hard choice to make. I wanted to see Baldwin again, the years had changed my mind in many aspects. And I have come to accept my marriage to him. It is not the horrible thing I thought it to be; after all I did get along with him. And if we are to get marry I would like to see him more than once. Besides, marriage to him would mean that I'll be Queen. Me, the daughter of a muslim.

"Yes, I would. For how long do you think we'll be there?" I asked him, sitting down in front of his desk.

"We'll stay for as long as we feel welcomed and you feel comfortable. Now, go. Tomorrow is your birthday, and you know how long the festivities can go."

"Yes, bonsoir Papa." I went to him and gave him a kiss. After that I retired to my chambers.

The next day was as uneventful as all my other birthdays. The festivities where the same as always, and the nobles present just as eager to climb the social latter; by now, everyone worth knowing of it, has been informed of my future marriage to the King. This has proven to be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing, because I don't have many suitors coming to call on me every day, though for some reason there are some bold men that don't seem to mind that I'm engaged. And a curse, because everyone is always trying to do anything, more like everything for me, and be in my good graces so that I will someday favor them. Idiotas.

However that night was a little more excited. After everything had quieted down I saw my Father make his way out accompanied by a couple of nobles in a northward direction; my interest picked I went to the stables and readied a horse. I followed the same path my Father was traveling, guiding myself with the imprints still left in the sand, and in what I assumed to be a couple of hours later came across a small château.

I would have kept going, had I not seen Joseph coming out the front gates. I adjusted the veil over my face and made my way to the building. It appeared at a great time, because I was starting to feel cold. I am certain that we are still on our lands, so the only thing I am worried about is being recognized. Just after I put my horse on the stables, a squire came about and addressed me.

"You there, girl. Bring these supplies to the infirmary," he said pointing to a sack next to him. I was about to tell him exactly who he was ordering around, when I remembered I couldn't get caught. "Well, Lord Montague wants all this ready before he leaves." He gave me the direction to the infirmary and stayed there until I grabbed the sack and started walking.

I looked around the walls as I made my way to the infirmary. There were no tapestries hanging form the walls, no portraits either. The building looked more like a prison that anything else. However, all the questions about what this place was built for disappeared once I opened the doors to the infirmary. In front of me four lepers. I took a step back without thinking about it. Everyone knows how contagious leprosy is. The thoughts of running away, and forgetting about this creepy place, disappeared when I was called on by an old woman.

"You there, girl, come here. Do not worry, if you're lucky your veil will prevent you from getting sick." Still afraid, but not wanting to show it, I walked to her. "Now, let's see what you have brought me."

I numbly did so and watched as she started pulling vials out of the bag. My eyes wandered from her to those around me, there were 3 men and a woman. I couldn't see the men's faces clearly, but I had a direct view of the woman. Her face was red, there were some parts that looked bruised and there was some liquid on her face. Her hair was falling off in many places, but enough remained for me to notice that it was once an ebony color. I continued looking at her, all sense of propriety now gone, there was something shining on her neck, but from where I was I couldn't guess what it was.

"Incredible isn't it? The damage a disease can cause. I remember her as a child, she was lovely. Her family expected a very advantageous marriage; but now here she is, no man wants her. She'll die alone." I felt inevitable tears well up in my eyes.

"Not even her family will have her?"

"They believe this to be a punishment from God, that she must have committed some terrible sin to deserve this."

"That is awful." _No one deserves that. _I can't begin to imagine a family doing that to anyone. I thought about my parents, I had known from very young that my Mother had leprosy while pregnant, and I also know that my Father didn't leave her.

"What is your name child?" _My name? Oh, I'm in trouble._

"Amira." _That's not a lie._

"Well, Amira, my name is Adiba. Would you help me organize this place?" I nodded and she led me to a small office to the back of the infirmary.

After some moments I dared to ask her what this place was. According to her my Father had been a world traveler during his younger years, and had acquired great knowledge of diseases and their cures. However, once he had married those travels had reduced and when he became a widower, ceased. Strangely he had started traveling again three years ago, looking for the cure for leprosy; at the same time he had order the construction of this chateau close to his permanent residence so he could conduct his experiments close to his daughter. The only thing that stunned me was that he was looking for the leprosy cure and this place's construction, the other things I knew already.

I spend all night on that place, without truly noticing the passing of the hours. Adiba showed me different ointments and salves and explained what they did; and when I told her I could read and write she started dictating all the information. _"This will prove useful for you some day. Always keep them with you." _She said in a very serious tone, as she handed me the papers. When I saw dawn approaching I hastily excused myself, and with a promise to return I rushed to the stables and rode home.

Much to my chagrin my Father was the first person I saw as we reached the Chateau. I made sure all the papers were well hidden in my purse, well under my water skin, bread and cheese. I had taken to bringing some basics with me when I rode alone, which was only with my Father's direct approval or whenever I could escape. For a moment I thought about telling him where I had been, just to alleviate his fears, but I doubt that he'll be please to know that I was around people with such a terrible disease. Truth be told, the only reason I'm going back is because I'm tired of not being allowed to leave the chateau.

"Elizabeth, were have you been?" He asked while helping me dismount.

"I'm sorry to worry you Papa. I was restless last night and went for a ride. It was never my intension to worry you." _Again this is not a lie, just half of the truth._

"Very well my Daughter, I understand why you would be restless. But please tell someone of your whereabouts."

"I promise Father."

For the first time in my life I disobeyed my Father. Instead of forgetting the strange château I had visited the previous night I kept going back. Every night I would slip unnoticed out of my room and return before the sun rose with a new set of papers with me. Adiba was teaching me how to make and apply the different ointments, I truly never expect to need this information but it gives me something to do. Fortunately, I was born a noble and so was allowed to sleep in.

Two nights before leaving for Jerusalem I told my new mentor I would be gone for some weeks.

"My Father has been called away, and I'm to go with him," I told her by way of explanation.

"That's a shame child; I've grown accustomed to our nightly sessions. However, if Lord Montague's has been called to Jerusalem, it's only rational he take his daughter with him." I was putting the notes away when she said this, I felt cold for a moment and stopped what I was doing. "Oh, you thought I didn't know? You have to much of your Mother in you child, Nahim had a presence around her, one that you have inherited."

"Does anyone else know?" I asked her with fake calmness.

"No, and do not worry. I will take your secret to the grave."

"Merci."

After I had returned home that night I took out the new papers. Opening my closet doors I took out a purple box. It was one of the gifts I received from my Aunt, according to her it had once belonged to a noblewoman who was renowned for her strange eyes and knowledge. Both of whom she was sure I had inherited, all of this compliments I brushed away, thinking them the way of my Aunt making up for never seeing me.

This was the biggest gift she had ever sent me. The other, were jewelry, books and notebooks, some of them used, some new. It was in one of the new ones that I was writing all that Adiba taught me. Since the box had a lock, I simply burned the other papers so no one would find me out. Today I would have no peace of mind, I had to pack and rest for the trip, so I put the papers there and closed it.

I am both excited and fearful of going back to Jerusalem. I will be seeing Baldwin again after many years, and I 'm sure neither of us have stayed the same. I have grown into my looks, already the people who come to the château proclaim me a beauty. I however have concerned myself more with my studies, than my so called beauty. If I want to be a good Queen, I need to know the ways of my land. Just like I heard Baldwin say many years ago I want my kingdom to be prosperous and my reign not marred with blood.

_After so much time, I have finally finished the fourth chapter. I hope it was worth the wait, and I welcome criticism._

_This chapter is dedicated to: Metti, Waluigi, PhantomoftheShadows, Bobby Rae, and Hope and Love, and all of those who reviewed in the past year... The reviews were all the motivation I needed to keep writting, merci beacoup._

_Phoenix Nephthys_


	5. The Beginning

_**Chapter 5: The beginning**_

A meeting had been arranged with Baldwin two days after our arrival. It would be in the public courtyard; where he met with the nobles and dignitaries that came with requests, or simply to be in his good graces. I would have preferred something more private, his reaction to me is as foreign as mine to him. However, once it was schedule it wouldn't seem proper to cancel it.

When I had written to tell Sybilla of the invitation she told me to wear a veil over my face, at all times, before meting with him. She gave no explanation to that, only asked me to trust her; and I did as she asked. I walked out of my chambers and not one of the nobles passing me by spared more than a glance, and I had all my meals, in private, with Father. It was all a refreshing experience. Although having people do things for me is something I enjoy, the unwanted attention I get from men, is often not.

When _the_ day finally came I wasn't allowed out of my room. Breakfast was brought to me and, after I had eaten, the tray was sweept away and I was rushed to the washing room. My bath water was warm and relaxing, and the smell of the oils being used in my hair and body exquisite. Once the maids had finished combing my hair and the water started to get cold I was helped out.

Dressing is always an event on to itself. The pulling, the twisting, the color coordination; it is all an event I am rather glad I didn't have to give much input. Once I was dressed, my makeup was started, my eyes being the focus. Just as I was picking out the jewelry I was to wear, Sybilla entered the room.

"Well, I daresay the King and the Court will be speechless when they see you," she pushed one of the maids out of her way and embraced me.

"Sybilla! I thought you were staying at your château for the birth." I said, returning the hug.

"I would never allow you to see my Brother before giving you womanly advice." I smiled and told my maids to leave us and return when I was called.

"Your advice is always welcomed." I answered as I secured my earrings.

"First, let me warn you that he will be different from the kid you remember." _Well I definitely hope he has change somewhat._ "Second, I want you to do me a favor. When you are summoned before him, do not look straight at him. I know you do not like the idea, but it will make you seem vulnerable to the other nobles."

"And why would I want that?" I asked her with indignation.

"To fool them, of course. If they see you as vulnerable, they won't watch what they say and will try to control you. However, I believe we both know there is nothing farther from your personality." I considered this, it sounds like a good idea.

"What about your Brother. What should I show him?" _I'm not going to be anything but truthful to him. However, I haven't seen the man in years and her answer will show me some of his character._

"He needs someone strong at his side, not a person to agree with everything he says. Besides that, he needs someone to protect him from Mother." _That is a subject needed to be threaded carefully. _Their Mother was renowned for always getting what she asked out of her son, which is truly disturbing. I was about to ask more but my maids came in, it was time. Sybilla winked at me and went out of the room.

I walked the halls, followed closely by two maids. For the first time since arriving I was showing my face, and this time I was gathering attention. This is good; after all I know that's exactly what the seamstress wanted by my outfit. It was made out of a light blue satin and it was very tight around my body; to accompany it, there was a belt made out of an orange color. My violet eyes were done in the same tones, which made them look more vibrant than usual. And my hair was half braided and half loose around my face.

I arrived at my Father's side rather quickly. He was talking with Tyberias, who didn't recognize me until I spoke. "The years have been kind to you my Lady. You have grown in beauty." I thanked him, and started a polite conversation.

I was to wait outside while they spoke to Baldwin. That was the moment I started to become truly afraid. However, I had no time for that because soon Monsieur Tyberias came for me. I took a deep breath and started walking. _At least Baldwin will be the last to see me. _I thought, for the distance from the gate to where he was seated was far.

"My King, Crusaders. I present to you Lady Elizabeth Amira Montague." Tyberias stood at the door, while I walked alone.

I felt every eye on me, a very unnerving thing. I decided to take Sybilla's advice, just to try to avoid those eyes. However, I could hear the whispering around me. This was all I needed to forget fear and nerves, instead a rage started to swell in me. _This people are forgetting that I will be their Queen, let them think me weak and malleable, it could mean their downfall. _It was with these thoughts that I arrived to where Baldwin was, and was surprised when a gloved hand raised my chin.

The first thing I noticed was his eyes. Blue like the sky, against beautiful tan skin. His eyes search me and I barely caught an extremely soft "belle" from his lips. I blushed at the comment and his eyes sparkled when he noticed it. _Same Baldwin,_ I thought, _older and hopefully wiser, but still the same. _I smiled at him, and he took my hand in his, turning me so everyone could see me. I was extremely pleased when I heard some men exclaim "Très belle."

"My Crusaders, it's been three years to the day since I have seen Lady Montague. In this time she has grown from a bud into a beautiful flower. Lord Montague, both you and your Daughter are my guests of honor, for it is she who will be my Queen." There were some audible gasps and I smiled to myself.

"I am honored, my Lord." I answered bowing.

"Lady Montague, it's my hope that you remember my sister, Princess Sybilla." He said, gesturing to where she was seated.

"Princess, it's been a long time since we've seen each other."

"It's a pleasure to have your company Lady Montague. My King, should I take my future sister in a stroll around the gardens?" She didn't have to say another word.

"Enjoy the gardens Lady Montague, my Palace, is now your home." He said, as he gave my hand to my Father.

Slowly, Sybilla stood up; her protruding belly was not easily hidden behind her clothing. Once she was standing Monsieur Tiberias offered his hand and she took it, walking in front of me and my Father. They led us through the maze of corridors until we had reached the gardens. There, they bid us adieu and returned to the King's side. We walked around, not speaking, but once I noticed Sybilla's gait slow down I took her to a bench under the shade, and ordered a passing servant to bring us fresh fruit.

"I'm glad you took my advice, dear sister," she said smiling at me. "I must say, Baldwin was pleasantly surprise when he saw you."

"How do you know?" I asked her, looking at the Lilly flowers.

"Oh, his eyes of course; my Brother can control his expressions incredibly, but I've notice that his eyes give him away." A couple of servants carrying two trays of fruits appeared, put the trays on a table they brought and where dismissed.

"He looks so different from the boy I remember. But I guess I have also changed in the last years."

"We all have," she said with a shrug. "My Brother has spent the last three years studying to be a King and learning to be a warrior. He's now 17, and has complete power over the Kingdom. You have spent the last three years studying to be a Lady of the court, learning how to be a Queen. You are now 15 and besides being a Lady, can out ride any Knight and defeat your Father in a fencing match."

"I don't think I'm ready to marry Baldwin and become a Queen." I answered truthfully. "I know the Court to be a deceitful place, and I don't want to be taken advantage off."

"Oh, Elizabeth, you won't. We both know you're too cunning for that to happen." I gave her a sly smile. We could have spent eternity talking about nothing at all; however, a servant came to collect us for dinner.

That was how my first weeks in Jerusalem were spent. I talked to Sybilla, stayed in my quarters, rode horses, studied, and never saw Baldwin. This was beginning to irritate me, a few weeks ago, he had proclaimed me his future Queen, and now he was disregarding me. _Is this how our marriage is going to be?_ I thought, fear gnawing at me. I wished this wouldn't happen, but I'm not a fool. Our marriage is one of convenience, a good political allegiance. I'm lucky that in my end of the bargain, I get to be Queen.

On this particular day I was tired of looking at flowers, didn't want to talk to anyone, and had already been riding. Spirits down, I walked through the corridors, not really paying attention were I was going. A few steps away from the turn that led to the gardens an open door caught my interest, looking inside I found the cure to my boredom.

Books, shelves and shelves of books; it was smaller room than the main library and there was no sound coming from it, which meant less crowded. I glanced inside, and noticing it empty, nearly ran to one of the shelves. Tittles in Latin, French, Spanish and English caught my attention. _I could loose myself in here._ I thought, and contently grabbed the closest book and made my way to the seating area. It was only when the light became poor that I closed the half read book. I marked the page and left in the same place I had found it, before running to my chambers.

After finding this library, my days became much more bearable. Now, if I didn't feel the need to socialize with snobby nobles, all I had to do was hide there. Of course I still had to interact with them; however, the thought of some peace and quiet, allowed me to get through countless hours of talking about nothing but fashion and house running with women, and war and death with Knights.

Strange to me in all of this, was that the men still pursued me as if I was not already engaged; I was suddenly happy my Nana had instructed me in the art of insulting politely. Otherwise, I would have been scorned by all of those who seek to better themselves by proclaiming to be my friends. It was on one of these days that I went in a mad dash to my library.

"Idiota, cretin, Mon Dieu! If I need to fend off another one of those idiots I'm going to do it with a sword; and then we'll see who needs protection! Stupid nobles, idiots all of them; I swear that if another man tries to woe me today I'm going to throw something heavy at them!" I practically yelled at the books. "All this could be so easily avoided if he just showed his blue eyed face in my presence once in a while! I swear men are the most stupid of God's creations!"

Grabbing a pillow I put it to my face and screamed into it. Once I felt my frustration ebb away I pulled it away, closed my eyes, took deep steadying breaths, and cursed that idiot. It took me a while to calm down, such was my rage; however, once I was reasonably tranquil, I grabbed the book I had started the previous day and lost myself in stories of Greek heroes.

"I hope, it is now safe to intrude on your peace," said an all too recognizable voice from behind me. _Of course, it is when I am in my worst behavior that he appears._ I thought as turned to look at him.

"You are not intruding, my Lord." I answered, in a tone that still held some anger. He gave me a weak smile.

"Lady Montague, we are to be married. A marriage should be built on trust and respect; it is my wish that you find it in yourself to see me as your confidant. Sybilla speaks highly of you; I do not want to believe my sister's judgment to be flawed." I looked at his face for any sign of deceit, I did not notice anything. _His eyes, look at his eyes,_ said a voice remarkably like Sybilla's. They didn't hold any sign of deceit either; instead all I could read was loneliness, and sadness.

"I do not mind your presence my Lord," I answered still looking him in the eyes, and taking a deep breath I ventured. "In fact, if I had the honor of your presence more often, this might have been avoided." I said and sat again. He walked into the room and took a seat in front of me.

"I do not understand. How could I have avoided this?" He asked, looking genuinely intrigued.

"We have not seen each other since the day in the courtyard, I understand that your duties are extremely important, and I do not want you to loose your ties to your kingdom. However, I feel that there are certain nobles that see this distance as proof that our nuptials are not to be." I explained in the less descriptive manner possible. "_Certain nobles" is an understatement of their real numbers._

"What do you propose we do to right that wrong?" He asked me, his face a mask.

"I want to respect and trust the man I marry, and I can only achieve that by knowing him. I suspect it is the same for you."

"Yes, it is," he answered hesitantly.

"Then I propose we arrange a time in the day to meet."

"That sounds reasonable," he answered. "Although it might not be possible every day, sometimes Council Meetings are long."

"I will not compromise for anything less than every day. If they are long, you will send word to me, and we will meet at a later hour."

"How will you leave your quarters?" I smiled. _I have my ways._

"I will find a way." I answered instead.

That's how our meetings started. We would meet in the library every day, he was often the last one to arrive, for I loved being in that quiet niche. At first we only discussed safe topics; favorite colors, pass times, and other mundane things. We even went ridding together.

Then, he surprised me by bringing a chess board, and suggesting we play; I had never tried the game, and he swiftly beat me every time. He was too much of a gentleman to say anything, but I could see that he thoroughly enjoyed winning. Slowly our conversation touched other topics now; war, politics, and religious beliefs dominated the conversations.

"You amaze me Lady Elizabeth. You have learned to play in a few weeks; you are close to defeating me." He said, looking at the board, shaking his head when he saw me grab one of my pawns. It greatly disturbs me when he does that, and he knows it.

"Thank you my Lord. Although, I must say, I have had a great teacher." I moved my piece and put my hands on my face. I have also discovered that looking at him from under my eyelashes distracts him.

"However, you have yet to defeat the King. Chess mate," he knocked my King with his Queen. I let out a very unladylike groan.

"Very well, you've won." I conceded. "It is not fair that you have not let me win. Why are you not a good King and let this poor woman win?" I asked, batting my eyelashes.

"I am afraid of your wrath if you notice my deceit. I have heard you have defeated your Father with a sword." I laughed at this, slowly putting the pieces into a box.

"Do not believe everything you hear." I answered. After putting the pieces back together, I walked to the window, savoring the fresh night air. Today, a Council Meeting had gone into the evening; just like I had asked he send me word, and after dinner I made my way to the Library.

"I believe that rumor, because Tiberias himself said it." He joined me in the chair. "Lady Elizabeth, what do you think of the Crusades?" His question paralyzed me for a moment. _How do I answer that to the man who leads them? _"I ask for the truth." I looked outside, the full moon illuminated the gardens, and I could discern the outlines of the city behind the chateau's gates.

"I do not like hearing the women cry because their husbands have died, I hate seeing Mothers holding their son's bloody bodies when the men come from fighting, and my heart breaks every time I see a child without their Father to teach them the way. I fear the day that I might be one of those women."

"But this is a war to regain what we lost, the Pope himself concedes it."

"I know that there are many that come to the Holy Land looking for an entry to heaven, and I also know that many come looking for riches. Just because the Pope condones it, does not mean that God does." I froze for a moment, realizing too late what I have said. I know of people who have died for saying less than what I just have.

"A well thought answer. Do not worry Lady Elizabeth, I agree with you. However, I can not surrender my Kingdom to Saladin's forces. I hope you understand that," he said, looking at me. His eyes showed no remorse, they just seemed to beg me for understanding.

"I understand this, my Lord, and I do not hold you at fault. You are the King of Jerusalem, and I know you want her to prosper. However, do you not believe that if we had a peaceful co existence the country will prosper much faster?" I know that the people who controlled the country before formed many peace treaties, and I also know that Baldwin has revoked many of them because Salahadin's forces are gaining territory.

"You are an extraordinary woman, Lady Elizabeth. You have been truthful; that is not something easily found in the Court, and I thank you."

"I know you only want only the best for your kingdom, my Lord. I am but a woman, unfamiliar with the art of war; however, I also want what is best for Jerusalem. We see things differently, but we have the same goal; perhaps, that will be the key to a prosperous kingdom," I told him, making sure my eyes never left his.

"I am sure, that with you by my side, Jerusalem will be prosperous." He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips.

This was the confirmation to what he had said in the courtyard. However, I could not stop a sinking feeling taking hold of my chest; something inside of me screamed that a horrible thing would happen. But another part of me welcomed his confirmation and loved the feeling his hand provoked on me. Do I believe I fell in love with him at that moment? Perhaps, but if it was, I would not realize it for some time.

In my third month, Sybilla was bedridden. I spent my time entertaining my friend and making excuses, to leave her and go meet her brother. On the day Sybilla went into labor, I sent a message to him with one of the servants and retired to her chamber. Because my Father is a physician the midwife allowed me to stay in the chamber; that, and the fact that Sybilla demanded me to stay with her.

The women built a fire in her room and started heating some water. I had no idea of what to do; I had never attended a birth and was reasonably scared. When the head midwife asked me to fetch some sheets I did not hesitate to get out of the room. As I was making my way back, I saw Baldwin sitting outside the room's doors, papers covering a table.

"My Lord, what are you doing here?"

"I received word that Sybilla had gone into labor; as she is my most beloved sister, I want to be close to her." He told me without looking up from his papers, I noticed the way his hand shook and took pity on him.

"According to the midwife she is almost ready to deliver. I was sent to get some sheets." It was at that moment that Sybilla let an ear piercing scream, I jumped and lost my grip on the sheets; I scrambled to pick them up, but my shaking hands were not cooperating. It was only when a pair of rough hands steadied mine that I noticed Baldwin had picked up most of the sheets and put them on his chair, while I had merely gathered two.

"Do not worry Elizabeth. My sister is stronger than she looks." I raised my head, it was the first time in years he'd addressed me without a formal title, and gave him a weak smile. He gave me his hand and pulled me up.

"It sounds really painful," I answered him, looking at the door. _I thought I was the one comforting!_

"Everything worth having is worth suffering for," his thumb softly caressed my hand and I gathered strength from his touch. Not really noticing I was not touching his skin, but soft satin gloves.

"Then I should go and try to lessen her suffering." I said standing and reaching for the sheets. He walked me to the door and opened it for me. "I will inform you as soon as the babe is born."

_I_ _never, ever want to help another woman give birth,_ I thought as I saw my normally composed friend scream at everyone, tears staining her face. Then a more frightening realization struck me _I need to produce heirs to the throne._ The prospect of this now seemed daunting. However, before I could think of what the future held for me Sybilla gripped my hand and, with one last scream, gave birth to a baby boy. The women took him away and cleaned him, while Sybilla gained some strength back. Once the babe was cleaned, they gave him to Sybilla who gazed at him in wonder.

"My child," she said paying no attention to my leaving. When I opened the door, I saw that Baldwin now had company. Tiberius, Godfrey, and my Father where there. Ignoring everyone else I focused my eyes on Baldwin, and smiling answered his question.

"It's a boy. She had a healthy baby boy." Although his face was an emotionless mask I saw his eyes shine. Just then the midwife opened the door, seeing the nobles that had assembled in front of the door did not seem to amaze her.

"Lord Montague, I know you to be a great physician, would you make sure everything is right with the Princess and her son?" She asked, after bowing. My Father nodded and made his way to me.

"Daughter, you have helped deliver a child and I know you to be tired. Go to your chambers, and rest." He kissed the top of my head, and made his way inside the chamber.

"A son," said Lord Tyberias.

"The Montferrat family is known for having strong boys," answered Godfrey. "I must retire; the night draws and my old bones grow tired." With a bow he left, soon followed by Tyberias. I made my way to a chair and unceremoniously sat on it.

"Why don't you head to your chambers Lady Elizabeth?" Asked Baldwin, taking a seat next to me, and handing me a goblet with water.

"I believe I'm owned a conversation." I answered, enjoying the liquid. It had been a long day, and I'm sure the night is short to finish.

"You are in no shape to be a good converser." I stayed quiet and sitting, his eyes went to the heavens, as if praying for patience. When they focused back on my face, he seemed to find a way to please me, and get his way. "I propose that we meet in the stables and go horse ridding tomorrow; and that upon our return we dine together."

"Very well," I answered, to tired, to complain. He took my hand in his gloved one and kissed it. "Sleep well, my King." I told him, before heading to my rooms.

"Dream of angels, my Lady."

I reached my chambers, and too tired to bother changing, and threw myself on the unmade bed. Morning came too early, and soon my Nana was making noises so I would wake up. I ignored her, until I felt my covers give way and heard an ear piercing scream, a vague order to look for my Father, and some fast steps. I felt Nana try to get my clothes of me and jumped away from her, falling over the bed. She rushed to my side and tried to remove my clothing.

"Where's the wound dear child. Who came in the death of the night and robbed us of your presence?" _What on Earth is she talking about?_ I thought as I tried to get her off me. Her tear soaked face and frightened expression kept me from pushing her.

"Nana, I'm all right. Nothing's happened to me, I am well." I tried to reassure her while I sat, her hands tight on mine. It only took her a moment to regain her composure.

"My dear child, you are well. You are not dead, thank God." _Why would I be dead? Nana, you are loosing your touch._

"Why would I be dead Nana? Who do you think would dare try to harm me?" _I am the Kings fiancée, doing something to me is practically begging to lose your head, and not necessarily from a Knight's hand. _I thought as I glanced at the space next to my bed in which my sword is hidden.

"I've told your Father marrying the King will make people want to harm you. Why didn't he listen to me and sent you to a convent is besides me." _Send me to a convent? I'm glad Papa didn't do that, I could not live praying at every moment of the day._ At that moment a couple of guards burst through the doors of my chambers, my Father close behind them.

He took a look at my Nana's tear strained face, and then at me. His eyes traveled from my face to my lap where his eyes widened. I looked down and noticed a dark red stain against the green fabric. _Of course it had to be my favorite dress the one who got ruined. Next time someone gives birth close to me I better be wearing a servants garb. _Being a physician, but knowing where I had been the night before, my Father didn't alarm like Nana had.

"Guards, return to your post." He commanded, and they did not dare disobey him. "Anouk, regain your senses woman. Elizabeth is not hurt; she was merely attending to Princess Sybilla's son's birth yesterday. Let her go before you hurt her." He added to Nana with a frown, but his eyes were full of mirth.

"I'm fine Nana, really. I was just too tired and did not change."

"You be quiet. Do you know the scare you've given me? I feel faint. Have you no regards for my poor old heart?" She grabbed her chest and closed her eyes, I heard a chuckle from behind me, and turned to see my Father standing next to me.

"You are an old woman to be playing these games, Anouk. Now, why did you come to wake up my Daughter with an army?"

It only took that for her to become a whirlwind of activity again. She pushed me towards the washing room at the same time she dragged my Father to the door. A minute later she had stripped me of the old robe and was scrubbing me in a less than gentle way. I heard her scream and a couple of maids brought her two dresses. Faintly I noticed the were ridding dresses, _I wonder why… Mon Dieu, Baldwin! _Now, I started scrubbing myself and trying to get ready as fast as possible.

I did not have a chance to break fast; I tried to drink a cup of tea that was brought to me, while standing still so my Nana and the maids could finish dressing me and applying my makeup. When they were done I almost ran in the direction to the stables, two of my maids following me; once I saw the stables my pace slowed. _I hope he does not believe I have completely forgotten._ To my surprise he had not yet arrived, I was thankful, for it allowed us to regain our breath. Just as I was feeding my mare, I heard heavy footsteps behind us, and saw Baldwin walking in my direction.

"Lady Elizabeth. You are unharmed?" He said, grabbing my hands and kissing them. "I heard they had been a problem this morning…" I would have believed him to be calm, had I not noticed the rapid movement of his chest, and the worried expression in his eyes.

"I'm fine my Lord. My Nana, simply found me in the dress I wore to Sybilla's son's birth, which had some blood on it." I told him reassuringly.

"I am glad you are unharmed, and I promise you will remain so while under my protection." It is ridiculous that every man believes I need protection; however, it is charming that he cares.

"I trust you. But now, I believe I was promised a horse ride, by a most honorable King."

"Lucky man, I daresay. I guess I shall take my leave then," he answered moving away from me.

"My King, if you leave a Lady to ride alone you should remember: "hell hath no furry like a woman scorned." We had finish reading a set of stories from England and found that line quiet amusing.

"I would not like to tempt you then," he walked to a stallion and brought him out, followed by my mare; he curiously eyed me as one of my maids handed me my sword and I put it on the saddle, but did not say anything.

The ride out of the palace was amazing. I had not gone ridding in a long time, and this taste of freedom was intoxicating. We did not talk much, simply raced one another across the land; only stopping to let our horses rest next to an oasis, not far away from the city's gates. He dismounted and went to help me down, I could have gotten off the running horse and suffer little damage, but I enjoyed the attention he paid to me. When he's out of other nobles scrutiny Baldwin is a very shy person, but also a very kind soul. Leading my mare to the water I could not help but notice that his eyes had not left me for a moment.

"Tell me Lady Elizabeth, what do you think of this oasis?" Jerusalem is by no means a dessert, there are plants growing outside its walls and the wells are full. I looked around me now, sand as far as the eye could see, and a spring of water and some vegetation in the middle of everything.

"I think it is precious my Lord." He gave me a long searching look, and seemed satisfied.

"Yes, extremely precious."

"Can I ask you for a favor my King?" I asked him, after a few moments of silence. I saw his smile fall and his face change into a mask. I have no doubt he thinks I'm about to ask for jewelry or another mundane thing. Before I could completely lose him I added. "I wish for you to call me Elizabeth."

"Pardon?" _His incredulous look was priceless._

"It is my wish that you call me by my Christian name. Once, many years ago, I asked you the same thing and you granted my wish."

"And I shall grant it again, so long as you call me by my Christian name." I smiled at him.

"Very well, Baldwin."

While our horses rested we walked around the lake. He had packed a light lunch and we sat under the shade of the trees and ate it. I thank God for his foresight, I had not eaten anything since the night before and my body was not happy with me.

"Thank God for your foresight Baldwin."

"Did you not break fast this morning?" He asked while drinking from his pouch.

"With all the commotion on my chambers I barely had time to drink my tea." I answered taking a bite of my bread.

"Why did you not have breakfast? It is unhealthy to miss any meal." I blushed when he said that.

"I did not want you to believe I had forgotten about our meeting." I looked straight at him, and I could have sworn he blushed.

"You flatter me Elizabeth," his blue eyes turned serious, he turned his face and looked at the endless sand. "You should be careful around me; I might not be what you think." I reached for his face and turned him to me.

"I think that advice should be taken both ways."

"I want only frankness from you Elizabeth."

"We have been taught to carry two faces. With you I shall only be Elizabeth. From my lips, you can expect frankness." He my hand in his left one, and lowered it to his lips.

"From me, a kingdom, and the world if you so desired."

His breath on my knuckles sent shivers through my back; when he kissed it I felt myself grow warm. His charming blue eyes never left mine; almost without noticing it I raised my other hand and traced his face with it. Fine chiseled nose, a strong jaw, beautiful eyes, and sun kissed skin, welcomed my touch. I do not know who leaned in first, so far away was my conscience, but somehow we were suddenly centimeters apart and I could feel his breath on my face. His lips went down on mine, it was naught but a simple brush that made my heart beat faster and my head cloud; too fast, he moved and kissed my forehead.

No more words were spoken, for in that moment an arrow pierced the tranquility and landed above our heads. Following the warning shot, I saw the two guards that had been accompanying us fall; without thinking I ran to where they laid. I reached the closest one, and upon turning him, saw half of an arrow embedded on his chest; his open eyes held no emotion. For the first time, I had seen a person die before me. The other man was still alive, he turned to me.

"Run, my Lady."

He had only finished the sentence when an arrow landed on his chest. Looking up I saw four men galloping towards us; one of the disentangled from the others and headed straight to me. Fear gripped me and I couldn't move, just as I saw him get closer and the _I'm going to die _thought crossed my mind, a spear zoomed over my head and hit the horse. Rider and animal fell to the sand. It only took that moment for me to regain my senses.

_When in battle, your emotions must be controlled. _I remembered my Father instructing me. My horse and weapon were too far away, with no other options I unsheathed one from the dead soldiers; it was much heavier than mine, but I could still lift it. Getting up I saw Baldwin already engaged in combat with two of the men that had attacked us, another on his horse looked ready to intervene at any moment. _There were four._

A shadow appeared behind mine, I found the missing man. I did not wait for the blow to come, instead I engaged him in combat. I managed to cut through his arm, but otherwise inflicted little damage; it was the element of surprise that allowed me that injury, for once he regained his senses I had a hard time holding onto my sword. He was stronger than I, but I was more agile; and this granted me some leverage. When I finally understood that with this heavy sword I would not be able to defeat him, I tried to lead him to where my horse was tied.

The fact that it was a woman fighting him gave me an advantage; I know that I'm not like the other women, not even the servants learn how to defend themselves, and I know this man did not believe me a threat. It was easy enough to get to my horse; however, once close to her I couldn't stop his attacks long enough to change my weapon. For a moment I thought of simply asking him, but the incrementing force of his attacks told me he wouldn't concede. He finally landed a blow; the pain running through my left arm was sharp like I had never experience and his next attack left me weaponless.

I walked away from him, his sword was pointed at my neck and I shook with fear. Distantly I heard Baldwin scream my name, but I knew he was still fighting at least one more man. I felt something against my back; I had finally reached my horse, but was too afraid to do anything. Once again the man raised his sword, _I am not dying today. _With speed and flexibility I did not know I possessed I grabbed my sword and threw myself in the floor. The blow hit my horse, and a moment later she broke the branch to which she was tied and sprinted away; while the following blow simply tore at my veil, any closer and it would have been my face. The blasted thing then fell on my eyes and clouded my vision.

As fast as I could I discarded it. My attacker only grew more enraged every time I paired a blow, and he charged at me, sword drawn. It only took a moment of distraction on his part; a flash of surprise on his face, and an attack filled with hesitance. _When in battle, your emotions must be controlled._ I thought as I sidestepped him and my sword cut trough his belly. It was the first time I ever killed a man, I heard him scream in agony, and my heart ached at the thought of what I had just done. I did not look back to see if it had been a fatal wound; from the area where I hit if he didn't die in the moment, it was going to be a slow death.

Hearing his comrade's scream drew the horseman attention to me. Baldwin had already dispatched one of the two men he was fighting, and the other was nearly subdued. He did not seem to be hurt, and I hope the blood marring his clothes was his attacker's blood. However I had a more pressing matter to worry about, the horseman was running towards me, I might be good in hand to hand combat, but I had never faced an opponent in a horse. I tried backing away and something incredulous happened.

The man in the horse stopped his stride few feet before me. I stood there holding my sword, ready for an attack that never came. Instead he said something unintelligible in Arabic, bowed, and rode away, passing next to me without attacking. I turned and watched him until I could no longer discern rider and horse from the sand. A hand on my shoulder startled me, and before thinking I attacked; luckily Baldwin paired the blow.

"Are you alright Elizabeth? Did they harm you?" He asked, grabbing my shoulders and inspecting me. "Your arm," I looked down and noticed the blood on my sleeve. _Well Nana, there you have it; someone tried to kill me._

"It is not deep," I answered him, even when the pain I had forgotten came back. Instead I looked at him; his right arm too bloody to have been just the other man's blood. "Let me look at your arm." I tried reaching for it, but he drew back.

"No, I am fine. It is a superficial wound."

"You are bleeding too much for it only to be superficial. Let me look at it please," I made to pull his sleeve up, but he backed away.

"I said no!" I took a step back. The tone held all of the harshness of the King, and not any of the softness of the man. He took a deep breath, and was about to continue when a grunt behind us alerted us to another presence.

"Filthy pig, the true King will avenge the looting of our sacred places."

"I am the King of Jerusalem; consider yourself fortunate that I am a forgiving man," answered Baldwin, I do not believe it is being forgiving so much as not wanting me to see him murder someone. However, the man in the floor was no longer looking at him; his eyes were focused on me now.

"My Lady, forgive me for attacking you. I did not know who you where until it was too late." I was shocked at his words, _Who I am? How can this man know who I am? _"I ask for your forgiveness. It was never my intention to harm one as you."

"I am afraid I do not understand." I answered him, while he had almost killed me moments before; the person at my feet was not likely to live another day.

"You are the carrier of the Star." I could feel Baldwin's control start slipping, the same way I new this man had only precious seconds to live. _Forgive your enemies seven times seven. _I remember Jesus saying, and as a Christian I must follow the words of my savior.

"I do not hold you responsible orders given by your superiors. Consider the past forgotten." I answered. Baldwin grabbed my shoulder and turned me away from the dying man.

"Go to my horse." It was an order, and while I walked away I heard the whistling of a sword. I did not need to look back to know what had happened.

Once he reached me, he helped me mount the horse and sat behind me. He rode the stallion faster than before, in complete silence. I could feel great anger from him, but also fear and confusion. I wanted to give him comfort, say something to alleviate his troubled mind; however, words never came. Instead I put my hand over his ungloved one and gave it a gentle squeeze, he removed his hand from underneath mine. Before I could feel offended, but after I was hurt, he put my hand on the reign and put his over mine.

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**AN: **

**And they are finally in love. This chapter was intended to be much longer, but because I wanted to update in less than a year, it will have a one shot side story later on. Hopefully you guys like the chapter and leave lots of reviews so I get off my lazy bum and update faster.**

**Phoenix Nephthys**


	6. Montgisard

Chapter 6: Montgisard

Once we reached Jerusalem the relative peace and tranquility that had dominated before gave way to the whirlwind of activity only achieved in times of war. I was rushed to my rooms the moment I dismounted and was not allowed to leave; according to the physician so many emotions in a woman were bound to cause problems.

No one allowed me to see Baldwin; and the last time I saw him, he was bleeding profusely. I wanted to see him, to know he was alright; but not even my Nana talked to me about him. Then, two days after the encounter, Baldwin started sending me letters. I do not know how he managed to find time to write them, but the fact that he kept me informed of what was happening gave me great comfort.

Along with the letters he sent me flowers. Everyday I received a different flower, even if there was no letter. I was surprised at first but quickly ordered a vase in which to put them; a week after being confined to my room I had two vases full. However, I was tired and bored of being in my quarters. That night, after Nana made sure there was no one hiding in the shadows, I put on the simplest dress I could find, covered my face with a veil, and got out of my room.

There were guards on almost every hallway; luckily no one stopped me. I made my way to the gardens, but couldn't help but look inside the library. There was a lone candle burning on the table, and a cup sitting next to it.

"I have waited for you to come, Elizabeth." I raised my eyes and met Baldwin's amused gaze. "I was beginning to think you had forgotten about me." He walked from the bookshelf he had been leaning against and stood in front of me. I threw my arms around him; the last time I had seen him he was bleeding profusely from wounds I had not noticed, and was close to loosing consciousness.

"You are all right," was the only thing I could say. His letters had been comforting, but nothing like seeing him, whole, in front of me.

"Of course I am, who did you believe sent you the letters and the flowers?" He said, finally disentangling my arms from around him and taking off my veil.

"I knew it was you, but the last time I saw you…" I trailed off and he grabbed my face in his hands.

"I am fine; there is no need for you to worry. Would you accompany me in a stroll through the gardens, the full moon makes them look beautiful."

"I was heading that way." I answered. He took my hand in his and we made our way to the gardens.

We walked around aimlessly in comforting silence and stopped whenever a flower caught my interest. He was surprised I knew a little about botany and then laughed and said "I should have known you, to be familiar with such things." I hit him lightly on the shoulder and laughed. We walked to a bench, once seated he grabbed my hand and lightly traced it with his.

"Tomorrow, I announce we go to war." My heart stopped, and I felt myself grow cold. "The men who attacked us were scouts sent by Saladin. Raynald of Chatillon intercepted the fourth rider and he admitted it."

His face was set, and his eyes showed strength and fierceness. I turned away from him, thinking about the attack. Those men had not shown regret at attacking a woman; in fact, the only reason I was able to defeat them was because they _"knew of me_". _What if I had not been wearing my star pendant? Would they have shown me mercy? _

_No._ They would not. The same way Christian Crusaders would not have shown any mercy. At least, I know that we would be defending our territories, thus, less likely to do any harm to someone else. My lack of quick response bothered Baldwin; he let my hand fall and stood up. He started making his way to the chateau again. _Go after him or you will loose him, _screamed my brain.

"Baldwin wait." I did not scream it, it was said in a mild mannered tone and I was amazed when he turned around.

"You have already shown what you think, and know this woman. I will not loose my Kingdom to Saladin." His words were forceful and angry.

"I expect you will not. After all, most of your family is here at the moment. Understand, I do not like the death war brings; but I know it is unavoidable." He looked incredulously at me, and I took his silence as a good thing. Walking until I was right in front of him I grabbed one of his hands, and with the other traced his face. "Just swear that you will come back to me." I told him.

"I swear." This time the kiss was expected, longer, and more passionate. "You have nothing to worry about."

"I know you will be in the middle of the battle, and I know you will be injured. All I ask is for you to come back." I hugged him again.

He murmured sweet nothings into my ear. Swearing and promising me "I will come back to you," and "You should not worry". However, no matter how much I tried the images of death would not leave my mind. In the end, I took a step back, and after assuring him that I was fine – a lie he saw through- walked me to my quarters. I did not sleep much that night; and when my Nana entered in the morning with food and a group of maids, I was not surprised.

I ate in relative peace and I put no resistance at all about the way I was to be dressed. After I was deemed ready, I went to the gardens, were my Father found me. He escorted me to a room next to the courtyard. Sybilla, Tiberias, and Godfrey were already there; and a moment later Baldwin joined us. I could hear the Knights, eager for battle. My eyes met Sybilla's across the room and she nodded towards her brother.

He was dressed in full war regalia; chain mail, scabbard and sword, a small dagger at his waist, and a helmet on the table next to him. I turned when the door closest to me opened. Odo de St. Amand, the Grand Master of the Knights Templar, came in and announced that everyone was ready. My Father started towards me, but Baldwin crossed his path.

I put my trembling hand in his, and together we walked where the army awaited us; I noticed my Father give us a confused look, but did not pay any attention to it. Behind us, Tiberias lead Sybilla, and were followed by Godfrey, Odo de St. Amand, and finally my Father.

When we walked into the courtyard I only counted 80 Templar's, and a few knights. My fear incremented, _does Baldwin really believe he can defeat Saladin with such a small army?_ Once we had reached the front of the group Baldwin let my hand go and addressed them.

"Crusaders, today we are called to defend our Kingdom from the Muslims. We have tried a peace treaty but these heathens are not ruled by the laws of morality! It is time to show them that God is with us, that we will not let them rob us of the Holy Land, and teach them the respect they must show to us! We will fight, and we will prevail! We carry the relics of the True Cross, and we shall instill fear in the heart of every Muslim that dares defy us!"

The knights banged on their shields, the sound bothered me greatly but I ignored it; there were more important things on my mind. _How many of them will come back?_ After that he commanded the forces to "_march towards victory". _We walked out where four horses awaited us.

Sybilla threw herself at her brother and made him swear he would not _"try to be a hero"_ he chuckled but promised to look out for himself. Tiberias bowed and swore to defend Jerusalem until death if it came to it. Baldwin thanked him, and followed Ode on mounting his horse; I was surprised when my Father and I were also offered an animal.

"Lord Montague, I wish your daughter to accompany me, until we are a little ways out of Jerusalem's gates. You shall accompany us, because only you care for her almost as much as I do."

It was the first time, to my knowledge, that he said such a thing to my Father. I mounted the horse without second thought; my Father had turned to me and upon seeing me on the horse, lowered his head and mounted his. We rode together in silence through the city; many people pointed at the sword on my horse, and then at me. Word had already gotten out that I had been with the King when he was attacked; although some stories had me fainting and Baldwin gallantly saving me, others gossiped that I had actually defended myself.

A while after we had passed the gates my Father moved to the back, and Odo galloped forward. Everyone seemed keen on giving us enough time alone to bid adieu. That was the last thing I wanted.

"I do not know how long I will be gone," he started. "I have left Tiberias in charge of the Kingdom while I am away. He has orders to instruct you in all the matters of the Kingdom, you are to learn as much as you can while I am away." His voice held a light tremor.

"I will do as you wish, my Lord." I said.

I am afraid that he will not come back, but I know that it is my role to support him. However, I would rather go to my little library and not come out until he's returned or I am finished reading every book; just to avoid not knowing how he fares. _He knows this, which is why he is giving you something to occupy yourself with_.

"I also trust that you will help Sybilla…" I could barely see the gates if I turned my head, I knew our time together was coming to an end, at least for now.

"Baldwin," I interrupted him. "I will occupy myself with anything and everything you wish. However, I will still miss your company; and my only wish is for you to return to me." Gently I took a small book from the bag I carried and handed it to him. "Do not open it yet. Wait until you think of me…"

"Then I shall not have time to fight, for you are always in my mind." He answered putting it on his saddle, and turning around; the gates were no longer visible. "I also have a gift for you."

He opened a pouch on his saddle and took out a dagger. The blade had been decorated with vines and it glistened in the sunlight; I only had to see it to know how sharp it is. The guard was made out of solid gold, encrusted with a couple of emeralds on one side and a Tulip on the other. The handle was made of leather and the knob was in an elongated fashion.

"The Court can be a deceitful place. It is my wish that you carry this with you; and never forget to trust what you see not what you hear." I nodded and put the dagger back on its scabbard. "It is time for you to return to the safety of the city. I will come back to you Elizabeth, have no fear."

"I will stop fearing when you are back with me," I answered him. I heard my Father make some noise behind us; he also thought it was time to return.

"God be with you, Elizabeth," he grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"As with you, Baldwin," I gave him an awkward hug and kissed his cheek before turning my horse and standing besides my Father.

His eyes followed me all the way, and once I reached my Father he started his horse. I did not move my horse, at all; I only watched his retreating back and prayed for his safe return. I turned back to the city, only once I could no longer see his retreating figure. The returning trip was done in silence; I felt my heart grow weary and fearful, and my Father seemed to notice this.

Once back on the château I headed for my room, I felt asleep hugging one of my pillows and a prayer on my lips. I was awoken when I felt a rough hand play with my hair; the only light on the room came from candles, and from the waning moon shining through the doors that lead to my balcony. Turning, I saw my Father sitting next to me.

"Bon nuit Papa." I sat and stretched.

"Bon nuit, mon petite. I was forced not to wake you before, and only relegated to bring you supper."

He pointed to the seating area on my room, where a tray with food sat. I did not feel hungry, but knew refusing the food would only cause him to worry. I ate some, as little as I could without feeling sick, and tried to engage Papa in some conversation. He seemed deep in thought, and after a few failed attempts I desisted. I glanced at the shining moon outside, and my thoughts trailed to Baldwin. _How far away are you? Have you encountered resistance already? _

"You love him," it was not a question but a statement. I notice Papa's tone hold some incredulousness, and resignation.

"I do," I answered him. _With all my heart._

"But how? When?"

And so, I told him about our daily meetings. I told him how at the beginning he barely stayed for a few minutes and how I did not enjoy those boring conversations. I explained how after some time, he stayed longer, and I found myself looking forward to the suddenly interesting conversations. I spoke of the times we dined together and talked late into the night; and the days Council meetings had gone into the day and how we met later.

Tears no longer threatened to fall when I thought about where he was. Instead I focused on thinking that, starting tomorrow, I would dedicate myself on learning whatever I needed to help him run the Kingdom. I refuse to be the childbearing docile wife. My role will be as his support and companion and the person who tells him what he should change when he strays; and vice versa.

Papa had been looking at me, but he did not interrupt my monologue. He seemed to sense that this is what I needed, to realize that he was not dead, simply gone for a while. That he is barely defending what is his, myself included. This gave me the strength I needed to pull myself together and forget my misery. After I finished talking to my Father I felt lighter somehow.

"Merci beaucoup Papa," I told him as he pulled the covers off my bed and tucked me in.

"Mon petite; the road of love is a hard one. However, I believe that you have a chance to be happy with the King." He kissed the top of my head.

"Je rêve," I answered him.

"No, it is more than a dream." I drifted to sleep again.

I woke up next morning to a furry of maids; once I was deemed presentable I went to break fast with the nobles assembled at the table. There were only three people there; Tiberias, Sybilla and my Father, I greeted them and tried to sound as unattached as possible.

"Lady Montague. As you know the King wants you to learn the trade of the Kingdom. We will meet daily so you can see for yourself the Council proceedings and become more knowledgeable on how our decisions are made."

"I will do all in my power to make you proud." _Famous last words._

That morning I was taken to an office in the back of the formal Courtyard. From there I could see and hear all the proceedings as the nobles and the people came to ask things of the King, or now the regent. It was perfect for me, for the screen doors obscured me from view. The first weeks, I sat and listened to Tyberias and the other nobles, debate. Most of the time, after they were over and the case had been resolved Tyberias looked for me and asked what I would have done differently.

The first time it was hard for me to speak my mind. Years of painstakingly boring lessons have taught me to bite my tongue; however, he insisted on knowing what I had to say and I answered. After that was done, I went to the main Library and looked for information on anything Tyberias needed. That was the only part of the day in which my mind wandered to what was happening outside the city's gates; Tyberias seemed to notice this, and after a while stopped sending me. Instead, ordering the books to be brought to the office.

Sybilla and her son were also a welcomed distraction. I took to visiting them whenever I could; little Baldwin was such a precious thing, and his Mother always had him clothed on the finest fabric. Besides that, Sybilla seemed to be the only woman who knew how I felt. I never cried, but knowing someone could listen to me and not judge me, or think of me as a "weak woman" for fearing for Baldwin's safety, gave me comfort.

The bad news started coming in the form of refugees far too soon. They came from many cities like Lydda and Arsuf. However, the one that worried me the most were the stories from the people that came from Ramla. Many of the pilgrims en route to the Holy Land use this city as a bridge into Jerusalem. Besides, Ramla links Egypt with Syria, both of which support Saladin, and are a direct way to Jerusalem; moreover, one of our main ports is located there. When I voiced my concern to Tyberias, he told me that Baldwin was defending Jerusalem from Ascalon, and that Reynald de Chatillon was coming to our aid; he did not mention from where.

To make matters worst, more and more refugees started coming. These people were wounded and sick, many had barely escaped with their lives. The stories they brought were not comforting either, and every time I saw the tearstained face of a child or woman through the screens, my heart broke. Tired of seeing so much misery outside the palace walls I buried myself in the main Library looking for a way to help them.

I came across documents that pointed me in the direction of Orders dedicated to helping the sick. Because the most of the Templars had gone with Baldwin I decided to use the Knights Hospitaller to help treat them. I went to Tyberias with this petition, and he saw it as the right path. The problem came when he sent me to ask their Grand Master for their help.

"Heaven forbid such a thing."

"Monsieur, I understand that your priority is taking care of the pilgrims; however…"

"No, Lady Montague. I refuse to have these people here, why I do not even know if they are good Christians."

This man had been trying my patience for too long. First he did not attend my calling and now he dismisses my proposition without even considering it.

"These people have escaped death and traveled to Jerusalem seeking sanctuary. Who are we to deny them? Who are you to sit here and demand proof of their faith? Have they not proven it by surviving the desert?" _Calm yourself Elizabeth, anger does not lead anywhere._

"My word is final Lady Montague. I do not have to sit here and listen to the incoherent ideas of a child. Do yourself a favor, return to your castle and learn how to behave like a proper noblewoman." _The audacity! Who does this man think he is? Just because he holds a position of power does not make him infallible. _

"I will not be spoken to in this way Monsieur…"

"No, it is I who will not be spoken this way by a _woman_…" The insulting tone in which he said "woman" made my skin crawl and the little hold I had on my patience break.

"Enough! Sir, you are forgetting your place. I am the King's fiancée, _your _future Queen; you would do well in remembering that when King Baldwin returns your unkind words will not be forgotten."

"How dare you!" He got up of his chair and thumped on his desk. "You woman, how dare you talk to me in such a way. Why I would whip you myself…"

"I dare you to lay a hand on me Sir. You are nothing more than a lazy, filthy, pig; who rests comfortably on his chambers while brave men go and defend the city." My voice never rose more than the proper tone for a Lady; but my words were cutting. He walked towards me, fist raised and intent on hitting me.

Weeks of buried feelings resurfaced, and before he could land the blow I had grabbed the dagger at my waist and directed it at his neck. He stopped midstride and challenged me with is eyes. My intent was not to kill him; I know that would create more problems than those it will solve. Silently I signaled the desk and he understood the order.

"Monsieur, I will not ask again. The refugees need a place to stay. You offer the best lodgings in the city, and we are not planning to send everyone here. Two smaller convents have agreed to share this privilege with you."

"Why should I accept this offer, my Lady," he looked back at the dagger and at me.

"Pro Fide, Pro Utilitate Hominum. For Faith, for the service of mankind; is that not your motto? Think of this as a way to fulfill this oath."

"Very well, but we will only accept the most able bodied."

"And any orphaned boys," I added. He looked back at the dagger in my hands, and nodded. I have discovered that no matter how brave men seemed at first, if you confront them they run.

"Very well," I could feel his anger at being bested by a woman. However, I do not believe him capable of harming me.

"Merci Monsieur," I handed him the papers that needed his signature. "I will remember you in my prayers." I told him before leaving.

I made my way to my horse, a thoughtful façade on the outside, and dancing for joy in the inside. Once back in the palace I gave the papers to Tyberias and he started to organize where the people will take refugee in, until we regained the cities.

That night I went to my room in high spirits, although feeling slightly sick. I had helped these people find shelter, and I was extremely proud of myself. After changing my clothes and being left alone my eyes wandered outside. I walked to my balcony, the moon was full again; it had been almost a month now since I had seen Baldwin. _I should really stop thinking something bad is going to happen to him. Instead, I can finish rewriting the papers Adiba__ gave me. _I went back to bed and finished rewriting the papers I had left. Once I was done, I was sufficiently tired and drifted to sleep after putting them in my box.

_I found myself in a camp, a Christian settlement if the flags did not deceive me. The camp was tranquil, there were men standing on guard and walking around the tents. Slowly I made my way around, there were men around the fire, their swords at their side; some seemed to be in high spirits, others held their weapons so tight I was sure they could have broken them at any moment. I did not recognize any of the faces, so I kept walking aimlessly around._

_I was looking at the contents of a pot when I turned around and almost collided with a man. However, instead of colliding, he went straight through me. Odo de St. Amand kept walking straight to the bigger tent in front of me. This was the first person I recognized and curious I followed him; the tent was illuminated by hundreds of candles, but it seemed to be empty. I glanced around and started inspecting it; there were some maps on a table, and an untouched plate by them. I kept looking around until the Grand Master started speaking._

"_My King, a scout has return with news of Saladin's location. He is three days away from Jerusalem, but much closer to us."_

"_How big is his army?" Hearing that familiar and beloved voice gave me chills. _

"_He has been pillaging cities close to Jerusalem on his way. Because he does not believe us a threat he has allowed his army to spread, making him more vulnerable."_

_I walked closer to where the voice was coming from. However, I stopped once a man dressed in robes from head to toe stepped out. My impulse would have been to throw my arms around him. However, I knew that would have been futile, so I just satisfied myself by making sure he was alright._

_He did not look unhealthy, but I noticed something strange. His hands were uncovered and I could see some sort of scar on almost all his right hand and part of the left. Unfortunately the light was poor and I could not see if they were healing properly._

"_We attack on the 25."_

"_Two days your Majesty?"_

"_Yes, I will not allow Saladin to conquer Jerusalem."_

_I had been so engulfed in trying to see if he was alright I had not paid any attention to what they were talking about. Baldwin's voice held a frightening note, and I had to remember he was not being my fiancée now, but a soldier, a man that would kill to defend what is his. I never felt more proud, or anguished. _

"_Do we have any news from Jerusalem?" I did not know we could send him letters._

"_We received a message hawk." St. Amand handed him an envelope and, after bowing, left the room. _

_Baldwin made his way to the desk and opened it. I did not see the harm in looking over his shoulder; it is not as if he will see me. For the first two paragraphs Tyberias described how the kingdom was fairing, and how the nobles were behaving. From the third onwards he spoke about me. Apparently Baldwin had requested a lengthily report on how I fared, and on how I managed the pressure that came with helping him._

_Thankfully the report held so many praises I had to read some things twice. I blushed when I read the way Tyberias described how I had forgone some petty comfort to search for a way to help the refugees. A smile graced his lips when he read that part, which changed into a frown when he read that the Hospitaller's Grand Master had tried to hit me (how Tyberias discovered this, I do not know). _

_I saw his hand fist, and before I could really think about it I put my hand on his shoulder. This time it did not go through, but it did not stay there either; he open his palm, as if more relaxed and put a hand on top of mine. I am sure he did not truly feel me, but I still jumped away. _

_The next letter was from my Father. I was surprised to see this, and more so when I could not understand what he was saying. The only understandable thing was that, apparently, Baldwin had some sort of illness which was being treated and showing signs of slowing down. Although, Papa was quick to clarify, it would still progress. He ended the letter by saying __**it**__ had arrived._

_After reading the letter Baldwin got up and walked to the coffee table, following him I noticed the book I had given him sitting there. He sat and reached for it; I could make out the wounds on his hands more clearly now. When I examined them closer I noticed they looked more like sores than anything else._

_My head started pounding and I felt queasy for a moment; to avoid falling I tried to hold on to his chair. This time my hand passed straight trough the seat, he moved at the same time and my hand fell on his face._

_That's when my dream turned into a nightmare. I saw a hill top and some knights. Baldwin was standing in front of them, sword raised; beneath them an army hurried into formation, but was soon engaged in battle. I only caught flashes as swords met with shields, swords, and skin. Now instead of me walking, it seemed as if I just appeared at a certain place._

_The cries of the wounded and dying reverberated in my head, and wherever I looked only blood and gore greeted me. I tried closing my eyes, but I could still hear them. Trying to escape I started running, I started crying when I could not find a way to get away from all this suffering. But my heart stopped when I saw Baldwin._

_Although I had seen him fighting the men that attacked us, I had never seen him kill before. His movements were controlled and his face the epitome of concentration; he was incredibly agile, and seemed almost invincible. A horse appeared out of nowhere, and its rider charged against him._ When they find him in battle the Prince will not be treated with any thought to his well being. _I remembered Tyberias saying on the first time I came to Jerusalem._

_Out of nowhere a Knight came and engaged the rider. My heart jumped to my throat and I could only watch as the Knight was stricken down, and the man made his way towards Baldwin. He was taller than Baldwin, and even though his clothes shielded him, stronger. Every time their swords collided I shook. _

"Elizabeth, please wake up. It's been a day already."

_Baldwin managed to hit the man's sword arm and disarm him for a moment. But he got up, and grabbed his sword with the other hand and engaged Baldwin again. This time he was the one to inflict the wound._

"_You will die today swine, Jerusalem will be ours again." The man swung the sword, and I started shaking again. Slowly the image started fading away; I could no longer distinguish anything around me._

"No!" I opened my eyes. It took a moment for me to realize I was not in a battle field, but my chambers.

"Elizabeth. You are awake." My head was pounding, and my heart racing. _Was it only a dream?_ I felt weak and sick to my stomach, but worried that it had been more than a dream. "Is there anything you want Elizabeth?"

"What day is it?" I asked to whom I could finally recognize as Sybilla.

"It's the morning of the twenty-fifth." _Mon Dieu._ "You have been sleeping for one complete day."

"Help me dress Sybilla." I told her as I tried to get up.

"Did you not listen Elizabeth? You are sick, you need rest." I could not argue with that since when I tried to stand up my legs almost gave way.

"No, I need you to help me get dressed." I sat for a few minutes after this, until the room stopped spinning and I was able to get up.

"Why on Earth would I do that? We have all been worried about you; there has been another attempt at your life. No, you must rest."

"No, Sybilla please, help me get dressed." I grabbed her shoulders to steady myself.

Something she saw in my face must have convinced her, for a moment later she summoned a maid. I had not even notice the poor thing; she was shaking, and looked at me afraid I might attack her. Slowly I walked from the bed and behind the dressing screen. Once dressed I had to sit for a few minutes to regain my breath; my head still hurt, and the images will not go away, specially the one with Baldwin.

"You are lucky. Everyone is at the Courtyard." Stated Sybilla as we made our way to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher; praying, I hope would make the nightmare go away.

"Why is everyone there?" I asked her, I had regained my breath and was now sprinting to the Church.

"Baldwin and Salah ah-Din are to engage in battle, the nobles are assembling to decide what they'll do. They have scouts on the walls; you can see the battle from the city."

"They do not plan to help? Send more troops to his aid, do something?" I had stopped walking and rested against the wall trying to regain my breath.

"Their plan is that if Baldwin falls they will safeguard the city, ask for France's aid, and make sure that the royal family is safe. The last part is at Baldwin's request." As she said this, she gave me a pointed look.

It was at this point that I changed my direction. Instead of going to the Church I ran to one of the walls, trying to find the one from which I could see the battle. As I was going up the stairs a faint sound of metal against metal was heard. I hurried my pace, and once to the top I ran to where a group of knights was conglomerated.

"Out of my way Templars!" I screamed, when I could not force my way between them. The ones who recognized me did so at once, two of them, mere squires stood their ground. "You're not in service to look at battles. Go back to your posts, and that goes for you too Knights."

After a slight hesitation everyone dispersed. I looked out to the dessert, there although far away you could see two armies engaged in battle. I felt Sybilla put a hand on my shoulder as we looked at the men killing themselves. It looked like my dream, only I was not in the midst of battle; however, I could still hear the cries of those injured in my head. I tried searching for Baldwin, but we were not close enough for me to be able to discern him and so I prayed. I prayed to Yahweh, to Allah, to anyone who could hear me to please return him safely back to me. I asked the archangel St. Michael to give him and the Templars strength to win this battle, and Gabriel to lessen the suffering of the families who would not see their beloved again.

Then, just as everything had started it stopped. All that was heard were cries of victory, and then a cross was raised to the air, and I knew the battle of Montgisard was over.

* * *

So sorry for the long time without updating. Hopefully it was an enjoyable chapter.

Phoenix Nephthys


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